Zephyrus
by ToxM
Summary: Her past a mystery, she's pulled west by something she doesn't understand. "Isabella Marie Swan - I attempted to shed one more sin as I consciously reverted back to my maiden name - you are new and reborn, time to go where you seem to need to go." Vamps canon couples, AU
1. Chapter 1

**Everything belongs to Ms Meyer, I'm just messing with it for fun.**

**Be gentle, my first attempt at writing.**

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**Scotland**

It hadn't been the best few days - three to be exact, that was one thing I was sure of. The passage of time. It was crystallized in my mind, each passing second; clear as a bell, and ready to be recalled, mulled over, masticated for its frightful secrets and then returned to the brand spanking new filing cabinet that seemed to have appeared in my head when IT happened.

I'd got to the Hebrides, at least I thought that was where I was. Straining to remember geography of the UK seemed to be a little bit of an issue for superbrain, which was odd given the way it was performing just about every other task. It looked Scottish, heather, rain, no midges, but it was winter. There were no people on this small windswept patch of rock I had found - thank God - and now there were 5 less seals.

Were seals protected? Oops. They were cute, I don't think they suffered, well actually they probably did, I appeared to be a messy eater. Looking down at the mass of blubber and smashed bones it made me retch a little. I glanced down at my clothing as I idly started to pick seal detritus from my now sticky hair.

"Sorry guys, needs must, you went to a good cause."

The sound of my own voice shocked me a little, its timbre had changed and the resonance in my chest seemed odd. I laughed at that thought. My voice being different really was the last thing in the universe I should be worrying about.

I felt clearer from the blood. The word stopped me in my tracks, I started to lob hunks of seal into the water, it seemed safest to cover my crime. Blood...I shook my head and picked up another piece of seal blubber in my hands and angrily threw it into the water.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Blood?" I screamed into the night. I hefted more sticky stinky innards and sent them on their way, taking my anger out on pieces of dead animals.

Allowing my legs to fold under me I sat on the ground and took stock. The Wind blew from the west, my nose sniffed and catalogued the scents on the air, seaweed, salt, water, seals, moss, seagull shit, wet denim, wet cotton, wet hair, wet me. Blood.

Whatever superbrain was doing, it was doing its thing, the pulling was back, and I looked to what I knew was the west and made a small humphing sound.

The trip to Scotland from London had been interesting, to say the least, thinking back it terrified me and I hugged my sides to try and shuck off the pull that was now insistent like a 7 year old pulling to go to the park. I would have to get moving soon, or it would start to take over every thought again.

Running up the country had been scary and amazing in equal parts, after the initial few minutes of not really believing it was happening, the speed demon in me had awakened, and I leaned into it and allowed a smile to plaster itself over my face. I'd never been much of a runner, too clumsy for that, and jogging in the park seemed a ridiculous notion if I was going to have to restock on plasters after every session. The speed was inhuman now I was inhuman. I knew what I was, and sadly, I knew what I could do.

Scotland had arrived easily and quickly, I hadn't been out of breath, I wasn't breathing half the time, that was freaky.

The main issue on my little evening jog had been people. I seemed to dimly remember once saying that the UK was too densely populated. I didn't know the half of it at that point! To say that you can't swing a cat in the UK without hitting someone is true, my hearing must be amazing now, as I hear them everywhere. The strange pull always kept at me, I had started to think it was like a GPS that superbrain had installed, except it didn't have that annoying nasally voice that was oh so calm, and also I didn't know the destination, or the reason, just an insistence like I had to go west. Daylight found me in woods hiding from people. The sparkle was a shock, and not exploding like I thought I would in the sun was almost a relief.

I had to make a lot of detours on my run to avoid cities, towns, urban sprawls, motorways and just people everywhere. Upon smelling them in the vicinity my mouth filled with a sickly sweet kind of saliva while my thoughts turned murderous.

I hugged my sides tighter, I wouldn't let that happen again. His face. Oh God his face. superbrain smugly recounted every part of that moment in my head, and I felt a hiss leaving my mouth as I tried to shield myself from it.

The wind was picking up, and it had started to rain a little. My hair whipped wildly around me as I stood up. I pulled my soaked t-shirt down, smoothing it down over my stomach as if I was trying to make myself look presentable. It wasn't going to work, unless blood and guts smeared appliqué was in fashion.

I held my head up high, took a good deep breath, and as I exhaled I tried to do one of those self help exercises you hear about on TV, exculpating all my problems and sins wasn't a one breath win, it would seem, but I felt myself steeling to my decision.

There were no stars visible it was cloudy and at 4 am it should have been pitch black, well it wasn't, it wasn't pitch black to me. My eyes were as greedy for details as superbrain seemed to be for recording them. I shook my head to clear it, then stopped, that was what I would have done. The old me that was fuzzy and imperfect. She's gone.

I saw myself reflected in the seawater, and moved to get closer. I'd not seen myself since IT happened. The waves moved in and out, gently lapping the stony beach, and there I stood, unmoving, staring at this creature who was and wasn't me. Red eyes glared at me, crimson and bright, not brown and muddy as I'd seen them the last 25 years. My hair was wild and had red highlights in it, quite apart from the mashed up seal and blood that matted it. My skin was pale, not in that "I'm Celtic" way I remember joking about - this was luminous absence of colour. My lips were full and red, and there was blood, dry and red trickled down my chin, it looked angry against the pale skin. I glanced at my hands, streaked with red, leading to arms that looked like they had ribbons of red tied around them. I knelt down and tried to wash off the blood. Out out damn spot indeed!

Feeling cleaner I looked again, I was lean, I looked toned, I didn't look like me, but I was me. I stomped on the reflection, it fractured, the water surged and rejoined, the reflection reappeared. The waves moved in and out, the reflection stared back, I was like a statue, I knew deep in me that I was unchanging now, and the waves were like time, it would march on, in and out, and I would be like this, until when?

I looked straight ahead, time to let it go.

Isabella Marie Swan - I attempted to shed one more sin as I consciously reverted back to my maiden name - you are new and reborn, time to go where you seem to need to go.

West it is.

**Forks, Washington State**

"Anna Wintour - the woman is a danger to fashion, honestly! I can't wait til she leaves Vogue in" Alice looked up to her left and focussed on nothing in particular, "457 days."

The magazine dropped onto the table with an overly dramatic sigh.

"Culottes are an affront against women, they always have been and they always will be - you don need to be prescient to know that."

Jasper looked up from his iPad and gave her a half grin and went back to his reading.

The small dark haired woman leaned back onto the sofa and stared into space for a second before gathering up her legs underneath her on the seat. A yelp of excitement emitted from her and she brought her hand to her mouth, to unsuccessfully hide what was a huge grin.

Grabbing her cell phone from the table, she dialled quickly, raising herself to her feet she started to pace the large living room, watched by several members of her family.

"Alice" a no nonsense deep voice answered almost immediately.

"Edward, road trip you and me, next week, oh and some shopping!" Alice was jumping up and down as she said this, her hand still half covering her mouth as the octave of her voice progressed upwards. Esme and Jasper watched her, wincing a little as the octave hit the higher registers. They exchanged glances, while listening in.

"Alice, no, I'm not being pack mule for your shopping trips again, we spoke about this..." The voice sounded weary, and not a little wary.

"You'll thank me!" Alice said and disconnected. She turned to Jasper and the others with a twirl and held out the phone.

"I can't tell you, as he will find out, but it's good!" Alice sat down on the sofa next to Jasper and planted a kiss to his cheek.

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**Please review so I can improve, or even decide whether it is worth continuing!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you to everyone that favourited this, I hope it continues to please you, I do have the story mapped out in my head, but I am very much popping my cherry with this, so hold my hand and whisper sweet nothings to me please! As you will have no doubt guessed, I have no beta. Are you brave enough to fight my comma fetish?**

**All this belongs to Ms Meyer, I am just messing with the sandbox. **

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**Hebrides, Scotland**

I lingered at the shoreline, thinking about how this whole west thing was going to work. Geography was fuzzy, but that was a bloody big pond to cross to get to the next bit of land past my present location. I'd swum from the mainland of Scotland, breast stroke, and no real problems staying afloat. I remembered that I hadn't needed to breathe, and picked up a few small stones and started to throw them into the sea as I pondered the feasibility of just running into the sea and then not bothering to swim, but just to run my woay across the sea floor. What if the pressure killed me? The part of me that was mourning the events of the past few days didn't think that was a bad thing, the part of me that had decided to keep going shoved that thought down. I wasn't even sure if I could die, perhaps best to not think about that one just yet.

"What's the worst that can happen?" I thought grimly to myself as I stepped gingerly into the North Atlantic and just kept walking.

This was all getting pretty ridiculous.

I started to run as soon as I was under the water fully, it was a strange sensation for sure, I could have swum, but I had no problem staying at the bottom, visibility was ok, for me anyway, and I just kept following the strange pull that I was feeling, and kind of went into cruise control while I allowed superbrain to wander over what appeared to be a multitude of logistical problems I would face when I arrived at the shore of he North American continent.

I knew I would be safer, and people would be safer from me in the USA or Canada, neither was anywhere near as densely populated as the UK, so I could sit in a forest and be safe from detection. I idly wondered what to do about food, my mouth got wet with the sickly sweet tasting saliva again, and I wondered if anything could taste as bad as seals. I hope my life would be mundane enough that that was the worst problem I had to deal with. There was however the problem of where I was supposed to be going, what if this thing, this pull just kept pulling me west for fuck knows how many years? What would happen if I rebelled against my pull? Would it become a tug?

I stopped thinking after about 9 hours and just watched the murky nothingness go by. I laughed inwardly at the idea that this would be the greatest cardiovascular workout ever - if I still had a cardiovascular system, seeing as I wasn't breathing it didn't appear that I had one. Probably a good thing I didin't have a heart, look what I did to the last person that held it. My dark musing reminded me that I had one more thing to shed from my past life. I held up my left hand and ripped my wedding ring from my finger, and dropped it into the sand without a second look.

'Sorry Mike,' I thought to myself, 'for everything.'

Mike had been the husband every woman wanted, I perhaps was the exception, it had become habit. We'd been married for 2 years, together for 5. He most certainly hadn't deserved what had happened. Mike had been safe, reliable, he'd never hurt me, or a fly for that matter. I pushed Mike and the rest of that barrel full of guilt back into the filing cabinet and carried on.

The crossing was uneventful, and by that I mean I didn't kill anything, and nothing came near me. I stopped a few times to observe large boats, containers I was presuming crossing above me, it was odd to hear their voices, I suppose water and my now enhanced senses made sound carry, but it was indistinct and not in a language I could understand. For the most part it was a lot of muck and raked up dirt, and I longed for the signs of a shore to arrive. I wanted to take a breath.

It started to become obvious that the shore was fast approaching, I swam carefully to the surface and had a good look about, it was daylight, but I was a long way off the shore. I didn't want to chance it, and sunk down about 50 feet and bided my time.

About 2 hours into my waiting time I started to hear voices, I panicked, looking around but couldn't see to anyone near me, I looked up and saw the shadow of a large boat passing over my head. Three men were in the boat, they had Canadian accents, but they seemed to be saying the oddest things, non sequiturs in relation to the others. One was worrying about bills that needed to be paid, the second was complaining about the lack of good catches lately, and the third seemed to be giving a monologue about doing his girlfriend in a few positions I hadn't even had the pleasure of thinking about in a few years! I tilted my head to one side to hear better, these Canadians, they sure do say some funny things to one another.

A few more boats went past before nightfall, and I listened in, and gleaned that men when alone seem to talk to themselves and talk about sex a lot, they also seem to say things I'd never heard anyone say aloud in company before. It was pretty odd, but I was glad my hearing was obviously so acute I could pick these things up.

I wondered how I looked to anyone that saw me as I ran as fast as I could from the shore to the start of a forested area, it wasn't overly hilly in the area, but I saw mountains to the distance. I don't think anyone saw me, as I didn't hear them. I ran til I was in the middle of nowhere, I couldn't hear any vehicles or roads nearby, and stopped and took a big breath and looked around.

The pull seemed a lot more insistent now.

**Forks, Washington State**

"If you don't tell me, I won't go, and for fucks sake, stop singing that Proclaimers song in your head, I'm going to be stuck with it in my head if you don't" Edward leaned against Alice's door frame with a pained look on his face.

"Oh come on big brother, allow yourself some spontaneity! Plus you need to get out more." Alice grabbed his cheek between two fingers as she said this, before handing him a holdall.

"Why can't Jasper go with you? Alice, you know I love you, but we did the malls in Seattle last year, and I nearly poured kerosene over myself after the first day, I can't deal with all those humans, Alice, please?" He looked fraught.

"Shut up, it will do you good, Jasper can't come, he's busy with other things, and oh! You will need your passport, and your camera" Alice smiled up at him as she passed and started to sing.

"Well I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more..."

"Alice, my passport? What the hell? Fuck it stop singing that!" Edward grabbed the remaining two holdalls and started after his sister.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm feeling a little bit more confident with this now, hopefully not unrealistic ally so. Hope you are enjoying this.**

**It all belongs to Meyer, I am just messing up the sandpit. **

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**Forks, Washington State**

"We're going to Jasper." Alice sat in the passenger seat and announced the destination as though she was making a comment about the weather. She continued to flick through her magazine as though her life depended on it. The damn Proclaimers song was still on repeat in her head.

Edward rolled his eyes, and pulled over to the side of the road in a smooth motion. Sighing, he smacked at the steering wheel in irritation.

"Damnit Alice, do you know far away that is? Why? I've been really patient, but it's time to stop with this. I'm not going any further til you tell me what's going on." He did look pretty pissed.

"It's about 650 miles" Alice was engrossed in an article about nail colours for the spring, and didn't bother to look up as she answered.

Edward humphed, grabbed the magazine and threw it out the window next to him. He looked back at her and raised his eyebrows.

"IF, if I am going to go to Jasper with you, for whatever it is you have seen we need to go there for, 12 hours drive you evil fucking pixie, you better tell me exactly why we are going there!" Edward used his don't fuck with me voice at this point. Sometimes you had to be tough with Alice.

Alice looked at him with steely eyes. "Fine, we need to go pick something up, I'm not saying anything else, but only you can do it, and you will be thanking me for a long time. I love you big brother, but!" She paused for emphasis, "I'm not telling you anything else as I don't want you to ruin it for yourself you negative fucktard. Now shut up and drive, we are on a timetable, we have 10 hours to get there."

Running long fingers through his unruly brown and copper hair, Edward started the silver Volvo and started back on to the highway.

"This isn't going to be like 1966 is it?" Edward had allowed 19 minutes and 24 seconds to elapse in a silence that had become less and less tense - mainly on his side.

Alice giggled, and her hand flew to her mouth to cover the noise, "God, no, but I expect you know I routinely carry enough money for a low to medium bail amount now just in case, because of 1966. I always come through for you, Edward. If nothing else 1966 should have taught you that."

Suppressing a smile, Edward nodded, he hit shuffle in the iPod and let it rip with the road trip playlist. "I take it there will be no let up with The Proclaimers anytime soon?"

"It's for your own good mister, don't try and finagle your way into my brain!" Swatting at her brother's arm she laughed, "just drive, when we get close, I'll take over."

**Somewhere Mid Canada**

I felt like I was on some sort of an emotional rollercoaster. One minute I was fine (as fine as I could be given the circumstances of the past few days) the next I was laughing maniacally and kicking the shit out of rocks, or I was wedged up a very large tree consoling myself over the fact that I seemed to be unable to cry. The laughing had happened first, after I'd taken stock of my surroundings after a very fast run to a forest from the shore.

After the monotony of the sea, the drab sameness of Scotland, and the sheer panic of the run through England that I hadn't really remembered anyway, well, Canada was amazing. The air smelt of forest and grass, and food, oh god the forest was alive with things with heartbeats, everywhere smelt of dinner. Daylight broke through the forest, and I was struck with the different colours, greens as bright as olives, down to deep regal hues that defied description. The sounds! I could hear the smallest of insects going about their daily routine through to the sniffs and rustles and strange snorting noises of larger creatures. More cowbell had definitely been added to my senses. It was too much for me, I stated to laugh at the beauty of it, and I was spinning myself around faster and faster, laughing and looking and listening at everything in perfect clarity, and then. It hit me; what had I lost to gain this, what price had I paid? I thought of Mike on the sofa, and the thing, goading me, I saw their eyes, I saw the blood, I felt the burn again. Limbs snapping, screams, me panicking, the run from the building and the blind panic of the humanity of London pushing against me as I tried to run.

I felt myself sobbing, and heaving, I pushed myself up against a tree, and threw myself up it - another discovery - trees were easy to climb. I sat on a branch in a large old looking tree, and tried to cry. I felt like I was, but nothing came out of my tear ducts, I mourned the loss. Slowly I stopped the hicuppy sobbing sounds, and just sat there.

Go west, the pull said. I was going to damn well run til I got answers. The pull was significantly more palpable now, like it was turning my head and my torso in the correct direction, it didn't hurt, but it was like an annoying hum in my head, reminding me of an itch that can't be reached.

It was getting dark, and I wanted to get going, seeing as I looked like a disco ball during the day, and had scary as fuck eyes, it was probably best for me to do as much at night as possible. I knew the Rockies were west, and I wanted to hit those before daybreak, or at least mountains of some kind.

I jumped down and stated to run. I found a highway. The sixteen, I stayed well off to the side, but kept it within my reference. My throat had been parched and burning, I understood this meant I was thirsty, so bagged two huge deer when I found them on my run, after the red that took me over when I drank cleared I mused about whether they were moose, and if they were moose, what then, were elk? It seemed rude to not know what I was eating, or rather, drinking. I disposed carefully of the carcasses, mainly because it seemed respectful. I hoped I wasn't going to be this thirsty all the time, it was a bit worrying.

Running really was pretty exciting, and it felt good to stretch my legs, I rarely ran anywhere near people, Canada really was empty, it was amazing, when I did see the headlights of a car or truck in the distance, it amazed me how even when it was just one person in the car they kept up a monologue. People were odd! I kept my distance, and could never smell them, but the thought of them in their vehicles all full of lovely luscious blood really was almost impossible to stop thinking about, and the sweet saliva built up again. I'd scew my eyes shut and think of the mess on the sofa, at what had been my house, a lifetime ago. That stopped me wanting the blood.


	4. Chapter 4

**Everything belongs to Ms Meyer, I just play in the sandbox, and try not to break anything. **

**This is a learning curve, I hope you are seeing the curve as I am, and are still enjoying the ride. Thanks for popping my cherry with me. **

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**Jasper National Park, Canada**

The mountains were truly beautiful, the snow was amazing, and the sheer amount of it was mindblowing - compared to home. Home, the thought shocked me to stop just as I was about to throw myself down a big stretch of virgin snow for the hell of it. That wasn't home anymore, I don't have a home. Home is gone.

I sat down in the snow, it crunched around me as I hunkered down, the situation becoming as crystalline as the crispness of the packed snow all around me. What did I have? That was a sobering thought as I took inventory: Broken pair of sunglasses I had found by the side of the road on the way to these mountains, just in case I had to come in contact with anyone; that thought had me swallowing deeply, lets hope that doesn't happen. My clothes were a mess, a t-shirt that was clinging to me and looked held together mostly by old blood and was about to give up its last, jeans that were drenched and had faded to a very unsightly stonewashed 80's colour, probably from the trip under the ocean. Shoes? Apparently I had forgone those when I left the house. I looked at the sunglasses, and popped them on, one of the arms had broken off, but the lenses were intact.

Yeah I was fashion forward.

I took the sunglasses off carefully, I'd already had to bend the remaining arm back into a useable state once as I seemed to be less than able to be gentle without concentrating. I looked down the slope, and decided that irony was the course of action for the day and threw myself down the slippery slope.

The treeline hit me quickly, or rather vice versa, and I giggled as a tree's worth of snow covered me when I hit the base of it like a lead balloon. Standing up, I shook myself like a wet dog and stomped off in search of something to drink. Things were always clearer after I'd had a drink.

One moose/elk - I still hadn't worked out the difference later and I was sat in a tree idly watching the forest and surrounding area grow lighter as the day started, I hadn't really noticed that I wasn't sleeping, or even feeling tired while I made my way to Canada, but now it was very obvious, and while handy at the moment, I had a feeling that it might drive me to the edge of insanity after a while. Aloneness and perpetual consciousness, it felt like it would be oppressive.

I noticed that I could see a sliver of tarmac a ways down the valley, and I moved back further from the edge of the branch, I didn't want to be seen.

**Yellowhead Highway, Jasper National Park, Canada**

Edward had given into the brain torture and had put The Proclaimers on repeat on the iPod in an attempt to deviate Alice from her incessant repeating of the lyrics in her head. They had ended up singing it very loudly and using more and more ridiculously bad Scottish accents for each iteration of the song, both trying to outdo one another for the past hour.

"When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man whose lonely without you

When I'm dreaming well I know I'm gonna dream

Dream about the time when I'm with you.

But I would walk 500 miles

And I would walk 500 more

Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles

To fall down at your door"

Alice stopped laughing suddenly as they rounded a corner, and grabbed Edward's arm. "Here, pull over here, I want to hunt" She looked desperate and serious, the look contorting her usually cute features.

"OK! OK Alice, wow. impulsive much?"

Edward pulled over to the side of the road, it was deserted, the road bordering onto a large patch of forest that was at the base of a rather large and imposing mountain. He turned off the engine, the iPod going silent and filling the space of the car with an eerie stillness after so much frivolity. He looked over expectantly as his sister, raising his eyebrows, 'Go on then," he made shooing motions with his hands, "I don't need to hunt, don't be long, I don't want a ranger coming across us."

Alice didn't look at him, "You have to go first, I'll follow in a few minutes."

"Ahh, so we are here for whatever this great mysterious trip was for then?" Edward opened the door slowly, "whatever Alice, this had better be good, I'll play along, but you.." Sniffing the air as he started to get out of the car, Edward stopped, he sniffed again, and put his head to one side, before looking back at Alice.

"There's someone here, one of us." He looked out again, and sniffed, "Do I need to be worried?" His eyes bored into hers, gold tinged with black as he tried to hold back his instincts which told him to be on high alert.

"Female, scared, disorientated, unsure, wow got a pretty big internal fight going on, not a fan of The Proclaimers" Edward cocked his head to the side and appraised Alice carefully. "Alice, strays are not our problem, and you are NOT matchmaker general. I'm fine as I am, I told you."

"I'll be with you in a few minutes Edward, go, try and be nice." Alice dismissed him with a wave of her hand and looked back in front of her.

**Large Tree, Jasper National Park, Canada**

I'd heard them before I had seen them, one person, a female from the tone of the voice excitedly singing a Proclaimers song, the other was different, it was a male, but he was talking very fast, about lots of things at the same time, the driving, annoyance at the road trip they were on, wondering about cloud cover, annoyance at their traveling companion, curiosity about why they were out here, he was also singing the proclaimers song. I shook my head a little, thinking the mountain must be giving a bit of reverb or echo or doing something weird to my hearing to make it seem like that was all going on at the same time.

I saw the car turn the bend, it was some sort of Volvo, looked sporty and expensive, it was blaring sound - Proclaimers I head the lyrics at the same time I heard them singing it. The car stopped.

I felt my pull lurch inside me so hard I had to grab hold of a branch, I pulled myself back into the foliage of the evergreen and tried to compose myself. My pull was screaming at me to go in the direction of the car at once. I held onto the branch for dear whatever this life was now, and told myself to get a fucking grip, which in effect was what I was doing to the branch, I had to grab onto another branch as I was shredding the one i was sat on.

Don't open the door, don't open the door, was my silent mantra as I watched and fidgeted, fighting this new addition to my pull. The engine cut, and the music did as well.

Shit.

The drivers door opened. A leg appeared, jeans and brogues, the wind was blowing to the west, so I didn't smell them yet, thank god. A head poked out, red brown coppery and scruffy hair protruded from the car, then it stopped, and poked back in for a second. I was glad the music had stopped, it was distracting, and I hated the Proclaimers.

He seemed annoyed, now he was talking about how Alice, hmm ok that was her name was always trying to set him up, and that this whole trip had been a ruse, he wasn't interested in anything like that, and that strays were always bad news.

Yeah baby, I thought to myself I'm bad news, stay away from me.

Edward, as Alice had called him stepped out of the car and looked up towards the mountain, closing the car door behind him. I shrank back against the trunk of the tree and held on for dear life, the pull was screaming at me, and I was waiting for the smell of him to get to me on the wind.

Nonononononpleasenononodontc omeclosernonono was the mantra in my head, i pushed every other though out of superbrain and willed myself to stay where I was.

Edward sniffed the air and looked straight at my tree, I saw his face clearly then, strong features, young looking, clean shaven, a set jaw, and his eyes looked odd. The most golden hue I'd ever seen. I shook my head, and clung onto the branch tighter. The wind shifted back towards me and I tensed, involuntarily taking a breath.

Dangersandalwoodozonefromast ormruncrispsheetsfightleathe rrunrunrunhoneyalmostcertain deathsunlightthroughawindowi naugustrunrunrun

The pull was screaming at me, Alice was shouting at me that it was ok, Edward was moving towards the tree I was in, he was telling me it was all ok; an instinct - from fuck knows where - was telling me that he was dangerous and the only thing to do was to flee.

Why were they both shouting at me like that?

I pulled on the branch to gain leverage of some kind, my brain was saying go forwards as well as run away, and the branch did the only thing that it could at that point.

It crumbled.

"Bollocks!" I screamed as I plummeted earthwards. Right I was going to die, these things were the same as me, were obviously friends of that bastard back in London, may he rot in hell, and they were going to send me to hell for revenge on their friend.

I hit the forest floor with a bang, I didn't really see the point of getting up, I could hear they were close Alice was shouting for Edward to go slowly, Edward was shouting to me that he wasn't going to hurt me (yeah like I believed that), and altogether things were loud and confused and my head was spinning. Why were they shouting so much?

I opened one eye and saw Edward's brogues, I snarled (whoa, snarled!, that was new!) and scooted myself back til I was up against the base of the tree I had just fallen out of.

Without looking up, I laughed. "Stop shouting and just get it over with, I'm not sorry I killed your friend, he made me do something awful, and he made me like this" I looked up then

"Just please, stop shouting, you're giving me a headache".

Edward's head cocked to one side - he looked at me with a smirk.

_I've not said a word, you appear to be reading my mind._


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for all your kind words, as you can see I am very definitely Mrs Newgirl at this lark, and I am learning as I go. I'm still trying to get a beta, and am working on getting the lovely people at Project Team Beta to help me out.**

**As I am so wanting as a writer, I think I probably confused a lot of you by not making it clear that the line: ****_I've not said a word, you appear to be reading my mind_**** during our lovely cliffie in chapter 4 was Edward. We have two mind readers in this story. Italics are thoughts, green is good and, well, you get the idea. **

**The pull is also not what a lot of you think, but your thoughts are really helping me, so please don't stop!**

**I graciously thank you for your patience, and realise this chapter was a little tardy, work, my beloved dog Milly passing unexpectedly, and a large case of the heebiejeebies about my abilities. I'll try and be better.**

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EPOV

The woman looked up at me, bright crimson eyes of a newborn, not the dull crimson of traditional feeders within our species. She looked sad and scared and wild. I felt in that moment a shift in me, almost as physical as part of me cracking open, like water flooding over the banks of a river that had burst its banks. My world tilted at the moment our eyes met, I took a breath to steady myself, intent more on gaining control of this situation - this shift in me could wait a second or two more. Under the odour of death that permeated what was now a very ragged t-shirt I smelt her unique scent; freesias, honeysuckle, warm sun. This girl smelt divine, if she had been human, I am not sure I would have been able to control the urge to feed from her. The heady aroma of this woman had my mouth filling with venom, I swallowed it down and attempted to get myself under control.

"Please, I'm not going to hurt you, please don't run. I can help, I..we want to help" I held out my hands and slowly moved further forward. In that moment I knew there was nothing more important than the trust of this woman, I needed to help her.

She lurched wildly at the sight of my arms moving towards her so I stilled, and stood statue like, as only our kind can. Her mind was reeling, at that moment she wasn't registering me, just my scent and that frankly scared the shit out of her. I saw flashes of a burning house, of pain, and the terrible bloodlust she had felt very recently. Venom filled my mouth again at that memory and I swallowed it down quickly.

Her back was pushing so hard against the back of the tree that it was creaking under the strain. I filled my mind with thoughts of safety, of the fact I wasn't going to hurt her, I wanted her to be safe. I needed her to be safe, I wasn't sure where that last thought came from but it was true.

I sat down in front of her and looked at her, slowly and gently as I could whispered "Don't kill the tree, it's done nothing to you" I glanced back behind me to see Alice making her way slowly towards us. Looking back to the girl I saw she had pulled her knees up to her  
chest and had placed her hands over her face. The tree stopped creaking and she stilled, I could hear dry sobs. If her tears had had substance, I would have kissed their trail away.

She was so scared, so alone, her mind was screaming these things at me. My chest heaved a little in sympathy for her.

All my self control decided to leave me at this point, I reached out with one hand and touched her lightly on a finger. It was like an electric charge passed between us, I felt a zap, she felt it too, her hands flying away from her face as she stared at me like I had in fact tried to kill her. Her body stiffened once again and she pulled away from me as though I was a recoil from a gun. Whatever the shock was from our touch, it was the last straw for her, she started to shake, her eyes glazed as though she had retreated into herself, and all I could hear from her mind was repeated over and over:

_Please don't kill me_

I pulled my hand back as though I'd been burnt, ashamed that I had made this scared defenceless woman feel this way. I parried with a mantra of my own in my head, that I know she will hear:

_You're safe. You can read minds, same as me, listen to my mind. I will not hurt you._

We sat for a good while, relaying our message to one another. I look to Alice, and she nods, she knows what I am doing, and sees it will work.

"It will take time, brother, our new friend is pretty freaked out" Alice says with a sigh, she's sat with us now, waiting.

"Alice, book a cabin for us to stay in for a few days, remote as you can, did you get Jasper to tell Jenks we may have a rush job for him? I also see now why you went shopping four hours back, thank you, Alice. I am sure...ahh, our new friend will thank you as well, I wish we knew her name" I looked hopefully at the woman, who was still shaking, but less than she had been.

She had made a decision it seemed, I heard her mind take stock of her surroundings and mentally force herself to calm down.

_Bella, my name is Bella._

I catch my breath at the sound of her voice in my head. Everyone's thoughts hold a cadence and texture, a sound not unlike their own speaking voice. I imagined hers would be like silk, flowing in the wind. I wondered what her speaking voice would sound like when it wasn't tinged with stress and fear.

I smiled as gently and carefully as I could. I'd heard nothing from her mind since she had started to shake, and I had begun to worry. Her internal voice was as shaky at that moment as her body looked.

"Hello, I'm Sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce myself properly earlier, I'm Edward Cullen, this is my sister, Alice. You're Bella?" I spoke gently and carefully, scared that anything more would shatter the progress we seem to have made.

_Yes, Bella - Isabella Swan, prefer Bella._

A beautiful name, I thought to myself, then remembered that my brain was now a party line, dammit.

I tried to keep everything vocal, it seemed easier to just think about what I was saying. I understood in that moment how awful living with a mind reader was, and made a note to thank my family for putting up with my invasive ways.

"It's nice to meet you Bella! We are going to be great friends! I thought you were Scottish, you don't sound Scottish, I was so -" Alice chirped happily, then stopped jiggling around when shot her a harsh look - "Alice, don't scare her!"

Bella looked up slowly, her eyes meeting mine before she was overtaken by small shakes again.

"I promise you, there's nothing to fear, please trust me...us" I scoot a little closer, in all truthfulness, I've never wanted to be closer to anyone, her shaking was causing me pain. I felt like this creature shouldn't ever have any reason to feel fear again, and if I had anything to do with it she wouldn't.

I caught the words in my brain, and stopped for a moment, I purposefully didn't think about the realisation that had just hit me, and tucked it away. I felt my face frown at having to not think about what I think I wanted to shout to the treetops. I took a breath, looked carefully at Bella and breathed in slowly. Calm yourself mister, careful as she goes.

"Would you, I mean I'd like, and I know Alice would as well.." I stammered, looking down at my hands, as I wrung them together.

"Bella, sweetie, what Edward is trying to say is come with us. We'll rent a place out here, away from humans, for a day or two, you can get cleaned up, we can convince you we aren't evil, then you will be in a better place to make a few decisions." Alice looked over at me, smugly.

_Little brother, you're in too deep to do anything but scare her by being IntenseWard at the moment. _Alice stared at me with gentle understanding eyes.

I huffed a laugh at 'IntenseWard', and dropped my eyes to the ground. I became intensely interested in the snow that had collected on my jeans and slowly started to brush it off. Scared to look at either of the two women I was with, the snow seemed to hold the best bet for me to think nothing, and say anymore that would make me look as out of control as I felt.

"Yes" one simple word, uttered in a small shaky voice, with an unmistakable London accent caused my long dead heart to soar, angels to sing, unicorns to exist and my eyes to lift to see Bella looking at Alice, and then me carefully.

"Super!" Alice squealed, jumping to her feet, excitedly. She brushed the snow off her once immaculate leggings, tutting to herself about how they were ruined.

"Bella, we are going to become such good friends, I've seen it!" Alice was a blur of activity, as she pulled her phone from a pocket and began to tap it wildly. "I will find us a place in two ticks, don't you worry" Alice was off in her own little organisational bubble before stopping and looking at Bella and I who were frankly gawping at her.

"Daylight's burning people - chop chop!" Clapping her hands at us like we were preschoolers and then she was off through the trees towards the car.

I stood slowly, keeping my eyes on Bella, who made no move to stand up. She looked tiny against the tree, her knees still pulled up towards her chest, her feet starkly contrasting against the snow as the black dirt and mud caked them thoroughly. Offering my hand gently in her direction, I tipped my head to one side.

"Would you like me to carry you? That was quite a tumble you took from that tree" I really hoped she would agree, my body, no my whole being wanted to scoop her up and hold her gently to myself, I needed to touch her again, the banks of this river were well and truly broken, I was flooded with feelings I had heard I the minds of others for so long, but had never understood fully, or believed I would feel for myself. Secondhand from the minds of others was like seeing through a fog. I wondered if this was how it was for the sightless to suddenly be able to see.

Bella eyed me nervously, she looked at my hand as though it were a cattle prod.

I heard the beautiful tone of her mind; less scared, wary, resignation, she didn't understand the charge between us, but behind that she wanted to touch me, she thought I was beautiful, and safe, there was a connection between us, she felt that as well. Mentally I did a somersault and high fived myself.

She heard that. Shit.

_The touch thing, it's scaring me, I feel overloaded. There was a pull to you both, and now that's settled.__ When when you touched me it was like a gun going off inside of me, I don't understand._ When calm her mental voice was clear and beautiful. Being around another mind reader was going to be...interesting.

_I'm sure we will find answers._ I glanced at her as I thought this, the act of thinking a reply to someone was odd, uncomfortable like trying to wear shoes on the wrong feet. Yes, that was it, this woman had me well and truly wrong footed. I savoured the feeling and regarded her carefully.

Bella stood up, looking at my hand and carefully avoiding it. Pulling her t-shirt carefully to smooth it over, and brushing her jeans of loose snow she looked up at me.

"Edward Cullen, my brain is telling a million different things right at this moment, I don't understand any of them really, and while we both know that what I really want is to jump into your arms, shock treatment like that last zap was too...much for me at the moment. Looks like I know sweet Fanny Adams about being a vampire, but I have learned this - I don't break, and I bounce well. I'll walk if it's all the same to you."

She walked past me and trudged through the snow into the forest towards Alice and the Volvo.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ms Meyer owns everything Twilight. **

**This chapter is dedicated to my new and WONDERFUL beta CindyWindy, who picked me up, dusted me down, shouted all the right words at me and gave me the strength and fortitude to carry on. My new friend, thank you so much, for giving me my confidence back. You have no idea how indebted I am to you. **

**Enjoy, and know that updates will be more timely from now on. **

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**BPOV**

I heard him jog towards me as I trudged slowly to the car. It felt weird and wrong for someone to be behind me, so I stopped and turned slowly and carefully, a part of me wanting to crouch down and potentially defend myself, but another part battling that feeling.

"Let me walk beside you. You feel threatened by me behind you." He stated it as a fact, in a slow and gentle whisper.

"Yes, I feel unsafe...but another part of me knows I am safe. My body wants to attack but my brain is fighting it," I mutter as I flex and unflex my hands in an attempt to expel the urge to give into my body.

"We are predators; your body is defending you." He stood next to me, looking down at the same patch of snow to see what was so interesting there.

Predator seems like such a scary word, yet my mind catalogues the destruction I have caused over the past few days, stopping just before Superbrain hits the section for London_. Let's not go there just yet around Mr. Pretty Boy Mind Meldy. I know what you are thinking._ Shit, I bet he heard that. The patch of snow continues to be observed intensely by both of us.

I huff half-heartedly and resume my pace. The last two hours have surpassed the weirdness of even the last six (or however many days it has been) since this nightmare started. My brain is numb and my body feels weightless since the pull abruptly ended at the appearance of these two strange, er, strangers.

If I am honest, the pull being gone is wonderful. If I needed to breathe, I'd feel more able to than I had for days. I pulled a deep breath in and examined the scents around me. The forest is clean and fresh, pine and earthy, alive with growth, and the thrum of wildlife reverberates in my ears. Without the urge to feed, or that need to push on towards who knows what**,** I feel truly able to wake my senses and appreciate the enhancements that had arrived with this new life.

Edward smelt bloody amazing**:** honey, and sun, and sandalwood, male and strong and yet a deep undertone of sit and snuggle in the sun. I kick at a stone and look at him like I have been caught with my fingers in the biscuit tin.

"You can read my mind and I can read yours?" I look over at him as I mumble this. It's half rhetorical since we already know the answer, but speaking this makes it more tangible in some weird way.

"Yes**,**" Gravel and silk brush together to give me the sound of his voice in reply.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Why couldn't it have been Alice? I'm ashamed of so much right now. I push it all away into two boxes: my guilt and my need. I take another deep breath and let the forest smells overtake my mind again. Think about squirrels and pine trees.

"Other vampires -" I begin to say.

"No, you are the only one I have met like me...oh sorry, I didn't mean to pre-empt your question**.**" He looks sheepish now, in a chiseled**,** beautiful**,** deeply masculine kind of way. I sigh as I realise that he not only heard my question in my head and answered it before I had a chance to say it, but now he had heard the sheepish _chiseled _thought as well. This was going to be a problem.

He smiled, and I heard his mind laugh.

We started to walk again**.** I can see Alice on the phone by the car and she's twirling around as she talks, the hem of her very expensive looking coat make her look like a whirling dervish. She moves as fast as she thinks. I wonder if she feels dizzy.

"This is going to be a problem isn't it? How do you cope? There's shouting in my head. Alice feels like a tornado, a room full of people!" I groan and pull my shirt down again with a humph.

"It took me a while to learn to tune the majority of noise out**.** It is disorientating, yes. Your mind is a whirlwind all on your own at the moment**.** You are very new to this life?" He looks over at me, face neutral, amber eyes searching for clues.

"It's been a difficult week." The magnitude of the week it has been is too much to sum up for a stranger, even one who seems to understand some of the freakier aspects of the last week of my life.

Edward appears shocked by this**.** I hear a torrent of expletives burst into his brain, as well as a few flashes of plans he pushes into a hidden corner of his mind.

"A week? Bella, you must be so confused. I'm sorry I was so cavalier**;** I mean I can tell you are a newborn, but a week? You're very lucid, I am impressed!" He does look impressed. "Whereabouts in Canada were you when you were changed? You aren't Canadian, you are English - I can tell that. What were you doing here?"

Oh brother, my weirdness scale was about to go through the stratosphere again, I just knew it.

"It happened in London**,**" I say quietly.

"Ontario? That's a hike from here-" he looks impressed again**. **I stop walking; we are not far from the car now, and I can see Alice talking animatedly by the passenger door on her phone. Her eyes catch mine, and I hear her clear as a bell.

_Tell him, he needs to know how far you came for him._

Edward obviously heard it as well**;** he looked from Alice to me. The noise in my head turned up a notch as Edward's mind was voicing concern, protectiveness and curiosity. There was obviously something I was missing. How did Alice know how far I had come? Superbrain was getting tired of not knowing what the hell was going on, and I could feel my temper flare.

"London, England. I was changed in London**.**" I'm not looking at him, I'm making some weird contorted face at Alice. What the hell was she on about?

"What the hell, England? How did you get over here? Why did you come here?" Edward looks flustered and confused; it's very obvious from his tone and his mind that Edward doesn't like to be confused. Or flustered.

I look up Edward.

_Does it really look like I know why I am here? _My mind flashes that at him, and he winces.

As I start to shout, I realise that I really do seem to have a short fuse.

"Why did I come here? How come, in the middle of bollocking nowhere, I'm happily frolicking in the snow and eating moose, elk, who the fuck knows what they are, and _you two_ show up and send whatever semblance of normality I have carefully built up over the last week of absolute freaky deaky hell out the window? And _you_ ask _me_ why I am here?" Yeah, I am a bit pissed off all of a sudden. I turn to face Edward, "I'm here because some fucked up feeling in me demanded that I go west. West, West, West! Now it's gone. It went when you two clotheshorses showed up. Your turn, Mr**.** Fucking Gap model**,** with your stupid shiny Volvo. Spit it out! Why are YOU here?" I poked him in the chest, then crossed my arms for fear of them breaking something.

Edward reeled back, I appear to be stronger than I realise. He walks over to Alice to give me some space, puffs out a breath and runs his fingers through his hair, trying to compose himself.

"England is a long way, Bella**;** you must have been so confused by the change apart from anything else." He looks at me carefully, judging whether or not I have calmed down.

"You didn't answer my question. How did you find me?" I feel like a child having a tantrum, but the rage in me was bubbling.

"Alice saw you**.**" Edward looked at Alice, and Alice looked like she had been snitched on.

I growled. I have to admit, it shocked me that I could make a noise like that, but it was probably better than the scream I thought I was going to make instead. This was frustrating, what on earth was going on? How could Alice _see_ me?

_Alice can see the future, she sees the results of decisions people make; it is her gift._

That was Edward's mind I heard. His mind was precise, measured, and somehow comforting. Alice's mind on the other hand was somewhat akin to a kaleidoscope: colours and images rattling around at high speed, along with her inner voice which was at this moment rapidly trying to decide how to explain her gift to me.

I caught Edward's gaze. _OK, she sees the future; I'm going to accept that at the moment, as it's no stranger than anything else that has happened. She saw me? You came from where to find me? _Mind reading did have an advantage at this moment, I suppose. Edward and I were having this conversation at lightning speed.

Edward looked relieved that I had answered in a manner that didn't include baring my teeth.

_Washington State, the US, about 10-12 hours from here. To the west._

I laughed.

"Why?" I looked at Edward. This was madness, who travels 12 hours to find someone, someone they have never met and don't know?

Alice looked at me, "I can see the future Bella, I-" she started.

I held up my hand "We're past that point, Alice. Spock over there has explained your, er, gift to me. I'm accepting that for the moment. I mean it's no stranger than me being _sparkly_**.**" I huffed and moved towards the car. I leant against it and dropped my head to the passenger window. I exhaled slowly and continued, not looking at them.

"God, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. This is all...weird. The "why" was why come all this way? It was rude of Edward and I to talk about you in that manner." I turned my head to look over at both of them.

Alice squealed, and I winced.

"Bella! It's wonderful, how lucky you are to be able to talk to your, I mean**,**Edward like that!"

Edward hissed at Alice and she shrank down and looked petulant.

"Bella, I saw that you needed us, and I think we needed you as well. I see nothing bad from our meeting, and I can show you if you like**.** Edward hasn't seen - I've learnt how to stop him from hearing all of my thoughts, a necessity when you live with a mind reader and something I think you will both need to learn from me!" Alice hopped over to the passenger side of the car, opened the rear door and she started to get in.

"Hop in, times'a wastin' and I have a cabin booked. Bella, there is a hot tub, and a shower and I bought you some clean clothes to tide you over**.**" She looked at me meaningfully.

I didn't need to be told twice. The idea of a shower, and the prospect of clothes that weren't held together by animal innards was very appealing.

Edward opened the door nearest to me and touched my elbow to usher me into the back seat. The shock hit us both again. I looked into his eyes and heard his mind push the word _love _to a corner of his brain that was hidden from me.

_I don't deserve that Edward. I've done terrible things._

He caught his breath as I turned away and numbly got into the back of the car after mumbling my thanks.

The interior of the car was plush, and I felt a bit bad about leaving combinations of elk, Bambi and seal splashed and mushed into the seats. I laid my head against the window and thought about nothing.

The car moved smoothly; it purred like the high end machine it looked to be. Trees rushed past the window, but I could pick out every leaf, every nuance of the bark on each trunk as we passed**.** I wished I wasn't so alert. I closed my eyes and focused on the movement of the car and tried to drown out the thoughts of my two travelling companions.

It wasn't working. I wondered if vampires could get headaches. I think I had one.

Alice was telling Edward the route they needed to take to get to the cabin and was excitedly telling me about all the clothes she had in the boot of the car for me. It was too much. I heard one voice, over and over.

_You're safe now. Trust me. Please._

Edward was chanting in his mind to me, slow and soft. The pull to him was different**;** it didn't hurt, it felt right, like sinking into a soft bed, or looking into the sun on a lazy afternoon while lying on a blanket. The hypnotic quality of it helped; the timbre of his voice in my mind was beautiful, like my brain was being hugged by a beautiful, mysterious man. Then I remembered…

Soft tissue, bones breaking, Gurgling when he tried to scream, his eyes. Oh God his eyes, looking at me in shock and fear. The beautiful fountain of red splattering my face, hitting the walls. The taste, the smell, the laughter of the one who had chained him to the radiator while I burned. Realisation of my action, and my anger, out of control, fighting him, the screams, the fire.

I shrank back into the seat and squeezed my eyes tightly shut in a desperate attempt to expunge the images.

I heard Edward's intake of breath as he saw what I had remembered. The car swerved a little then corrected.

The sob I choked back was small.

_I don't trust me, Edward, who will keep you safe from me? _


	7. Chapter 7

**Much to my chagrin, everything belongs to SM, I just make messes in her sandpit. **

**My heartfelt thanks go to my long suffering and supremely patient beta CindyWindy. Honestly folks, without this amazing person this chapter wouldn't be here. Thank you, thank you!**

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The threadwork on the back of the front passenger seat was almost mesmerising. I was counting the stitches along the edge. It gave me a good peripheral view of Edward in the front seat. Long pale fingers held the steering wheel nonchalantly. I allowed myself to minutely change the angle of my gaze to see if I could catch a glimpse of his eyes.

Shit! He was looking at me. I averted my gaze and went back to counting the stitches.

_We get obsessed with counting things, be careful._ Edward's inner voice was almost as beautiful as his real voice.

Shaking my head with embarrassment, I looked over at him again. Eyes locked, I didn't know what to say or what to think, so I looked away and allowed the scenery to engulf my brain. That was in fact not true; I knew exactly what I wanted to think, and more importantly what I would like to do. But life was shit, and that wasn't going to happen.

Alice was still giving me a thorough inventory of the contents of the boot. How many pairs of jogging pants did she think I needed?

_She bought you 12._ I looked over at him again. He was smirking.

_Out of my head, Goldeneyes!_ I hoped the annoyance in my mind conveyed properly.

_You were in my head actually._ There was a snuffling smirk from the front of the car.

I rested my head with a groan against the window, focusing on pine trees.

That's when it hit, crashing into my midsection like a cramp, with my very spine being pulled to the left harshly. I felt myself stiffen.

"Next left, next left, please, oh fuck, next left! Don't stay on this road!" My voice was tight; I felt panic and fear.

Edward looked back at me, immediately on guard. he looked concerned, and a little angry.

"This is the right way, I'm not turning off onto a different road, you don't even know where we are going!" he shot back, not understanding why I was panicking.

"Bella? Are you ok? What's wrong?" annoyance had turned to worry when he heard the storms clouding my mind.

"Just take the next turn, do it! Do it or I swear I am jumping out of this damn car and you won't find me again! Next left!" I grabbed the edge of the front passenger seat and felt the leather tear, the foam crumble, and the metal seat back bend out of shape.

I tried to get purchase to get to the front of the car. I had to turn the wheel!

Alice squeaked, and grabbed hold of my side. "Sweetie, it's ok, Edward knows where we are going-"

I growled, "We have to go left! Get off me! Edward, I'll tear your pretty car to pieces!"

I heard Alice's mind comparing the best ways to Edward's heart - tearing his car apart apparently wasn't the optimal way to it. She noted in her panic that he was very protective of his Volvo.

"At this moment I couldn't give a crap whether he regularly has sex with the damn car, Alice! Let go of me! We have to go left!" Alice loosened her hold on me suddenly and stiffened.

Edward and I sucked in our breath simultaneously. Stunned, I saw the horrid scene play out in Alice's mind.

_I saw a park ranger in a patrol car up ahead and around the bend, about a mile from us. Edward's stubborn decision that we weren't going to turn left meant that the ranger would see us. Worried that people so far into the park at dusk, in the winter, would be in danger, he'd ﬂag us down. Then I saw myself kill him. I watched in horror as I pushed the car door off its hinges and threw myself at him. I ripped his throat out, sending geysers of blood all over myself. I snarled and hissed as Alice and Edward tried to pull me away from the now mangled remains of the poor man._

Venom pooled in my mouth. I held my hand over my mouth as venom dribbled from my bottom lip and pooled down the side of my breast. I made a strangled noise and threw myself into the back of the car, and held my head in my hands.

"Edward, do what she says! Get off this damn road now!" Alice's tone broached no argument.

Edward growled and turned a sharp left onto a logging track. We raced up it until we were out of view of the road.

The car came to a rough stop, and then there was silence.

Alice stared at me "How did you know before me?"

I couldn't speak; my mouth was full of the sickly sweet venom, as I had heard Edward call it in his mind. I held my breath and swallowed and kept my hands over my face, too ashamed to look up.

Time seemed to stand still. I felt myself rocking backwards and forwards, and all I could see was me: an animal in Alice's vision, destroying the ranger, blood gushing everywhere, his neck lolling at an unnatural angle and Edward and Alice trying to pull me away.

"Bella, it didn't happen. Bella, please, it was my vision you saw - what could have happened, not what did." Alice was talking gently to me, her hand on my shoulder. I cringed at her touch and shrank back towards the window.

I felt the passenger door on my side open. Strong arms encircled me and pulled me towards a firm body. I allowed myself to be held; it felt good. I felt Edward's chin rest on my head.

_I'm sorry I didn't listen. Forgive me. Shh, relax, I have you. Be calm, you are safe. He is safe. Let me help you. I'll always help you. Please let me in._ Edward's mind was my safe harbour. I don't know how or why, it just was.

We sat for an age like that, past the point where I had hiccupped and sobbed and removed the venom from my mouth, past the point where I had calmed, until we arrived at the point where I felt safer than I could ever remember feeling. Without realising it, my hands had uncovered my face and were wrapped around his arms, holding him to me. His inner mantra continued and I felt tiny breaths on my hair turn into feather light kisses.

"I'm sorry I mauled your car," I said in a quiet voice. "Can we get to the cabin? I'll tell you everything I know there."

I felt Edward slowly disengage from me, and I sat back against the seat. I didn't look at him as I turned to Alice.

"I broke his car; is he going to be angry with me?" I felt empty, as though the day had taken all my energy. I wanted to close my eyes and wake up in London, surrounded by my ironing, in my pokey house and with the husband I hadn't touched in months. Talking about the damage I had done to Edward's car seemed the safest course in the minefield of my life at present.

Alice smiled at me. She laid her hand in mine, and squeezed it. "Bella, I think I can safely say the car is no longer important to him in the scheme of things."


	8. Chapter 8

**Ms Meyer owns all the fun stuff, I just play in her sandbox.**

**My heartfelt thanks to my long suffering, adjective herding, long sentence curber and comma killer extraordinaire CindyWindy! You make my weird stream of words make sense, and for that I am indebted to you!**

**Thank you for all the feedback, I'm chuffed you are enjoying this story. Your enjoyment spurs me on!**

********This is a repost of Chapter 8 as I am a klutz, and have no idea about file management, and actually posted an non beta'd version, honestly, you couldn't trust me to use a computer some days..Sorry!***********

**(This version is much better)**

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**EPOV**

Uneventful describes the remainder of the drive to the secluded cabin that Alice had rented for a week. I drove as fast as I safely could whilst keeping a close watch on the occupants in the back of the car. Bella appeared to be in some form of shock. She had shrunk herself against the back seat and hadn't moved in the last hour. Her eyes were open but not seeing, locked on the mangled mess of the front seat. She wasn't reacting to my thoughts, and I heard nothing from her mind. If she was human I would be worried she'd had some sort of stroke episode. She looked so small and scared. I imagined her as a tiny bird that had flown into a window and was lying shocked on the ground. The urge to stop the car, switch places with Alice, and hold this amazing, fragile treasure close to me was almost overwhelming. About twenty minutes previously, I had made the decision to pull over but Alice's voice in my mind stopped me.

_She will be fine, Edward. I think she's just retreated into her brain to try and sort through the past few hours. When we get to the cabin, she comes back to us. Leave her be, she needs the space at the moment. _

I nodded, and flexed my fingers on the steering wheel. The beguiling creature in the back appeared to not be hearing anything, so I allowed myself what I realised would be a rare thing from now on - free thoughts.

I needed to speak to Carlisle and decided that once we were settled in the cabin and Bella was safely sequestered in the facilities, I would run to a spot where she couldn't hear my thoughts or voice, so I could ask my wise mentor and father figure what the hell I was going to do, and how we could help Bella for the best.

Bella was deeply traumatised, that much was obvious. From what I could tell since her change - a scant six or so days prior, it seemed - she had killed twice. I think once was her husband and the other her sire. How or why that had happened I had picked up no details on. The memories I had seen of her husband's demise were horrific and tainted with her horror of the act, along with disorientation that I had seen in the newborn mind before.

Married! She had been married. I was conflicted. She was my mate. There...I've said it. Mate. The feeling was amazing, freeing, like decades of loneliness was lifted. I was breathing and seeing and feeling for the first time. The long dead muscle in my chest felt like it shuddered back to life. And I knew she felt something, but I was a prize bastard if I pursued anything with her. It was probably going to be the second death of me, but my almost certainly soon-to-be blue balls were firmly in Bella's court.

I laughed grimly and quietly to myself, glancing back at the beautiful statue in the back seat. No change. She was a mess. I felt for her - to be alone and confused after such a traumatic series of events, it was no surprise she had retreated into the safety of herself.

I allowed myself to wonder how my new Swan friend would transform after the benefit of a good hot shower and some clothes that didn't look about to disintegrate or frankly (sorry Bella) stink to high heaven. I could tell my Bella was a beauty under the grime and detritus from her ordeal.

I screwed my nose up and clicked the AC back onto full and kept it good and cold. I added a full clean of the car and front seat repair to my list of things to do when we were at the cabin.

The most important thing was to calm Bella down, get her comfortable, and find out what the hell happened to her. I realised with a start that in fact Bella was my only real priority, over and above everything, including myself. I liked that feeling.

She was a part of my life now, I was changed, and the force of it still reverberated around me. I wanted to be the wing my Bella could shelter under until we could fly together, however long that took.

With a grimace I remembered my newborn years and the difficulty I had learning to control my gift. The lessons I took from that would be invaluable in helping my Bella to wrangle her gift. We'd work together, though sharing my thoughts with her filled me with trepidation. With a groan, I thought of how Emmett was going to have a field day with this. If I was Alice, I was sure I'd be able to see him rubbing his hands together in glee at all the possibilities to fuck me over this presented - all in a friendly and brotherly way of course.

Then there was the pull she had experienced twice now (as far as I knew). It mystified me but it was tangible in her mind during the near miss with the ranger. I felt a pang of guilt at ultimately being the cause for so much pain and confusion over that. I would do my best to trust my mate in the future.

Knocking me from my reverie was Alice on the phone to Jasper. She'd asked him to get in touch with Jenks and alert him to the fact that we'd need his ID services in a day or so. She let her mate know we were fine, nearly at the cabin, and also the details of the rental. I heard her ask Jasper to alert Carlisle that I would be ringing within an hour or so. I locked eyes with her and nodded briefly in thanks, then paid attention to the road for the last dozen or so miles.

Within ten minutes we had hit a rough road and I could tell we'd be safe in this area for the few days we needed.

"Good work as ever, Alice. This place is perfect!" Alice was the queen of logistics; she had chosen well.

The cabin was remote, and even at the height of summer I doubted there would be unwanted visitors. Since it was the depth of winter, we wouldn't be disturbed. Alice had paid the owner handsomely to leave the key in an accessible place on the property and then assure us complete privacy.

We pulled up outside the modest structure. It was a traditional log cabin, rather humble, but the broad logs looked sturdy and well weathered. There was a small porch at the front complete with a wooden swing that would seat two. Ample firewood was stacked by the door - not that we needed a fire, but it might be nice for my Bella. Forest backed onto the rear of the property, perfect for a hungry newborn. I detected the thoughts of no humans in the area, but the forest was alive with sustenance for our kind.

Alice hopped out the back and ran around to Bella's side of the car. Shooting me a warning look with a vehement shake of her head, I took the hint and went to the trunk to retrieve the supplies we had bought on the way here. Mostly clothing, there was also toiletries and some blankets - what those were for was anyone's guess. I loaded up and went to the porch, dropped everything, cleared the snow from the swing, sat on it, and watched Alice work her magic.

"Key is on top of the doorframe," Alice told me, so I grabbed it and sat down again. I wasn't going into the cabin until my Bella was with me.

Alice was chanting to Bella in her mind and also out loud as she moved to open the rear passenger door next to her. The door opened with a gentle click, and Alice kept her distance while continuing her chant internally.

"Bella? Sweetie, we're at the cabin, and there's a hot shower and some fresh clothes in your immediate future!" I loved my sister all the more for her gentle ways at that moment.

I watched intently as Bella turned her head slowly towards Alice. Taking a small breath she seemed to animate suddenly - what was stone was once again pliable.

"Where's Edward?" Bella got out of the car hesitantly, and my heart lurched again at her looking for me.

"He's waiting for us on the porch, see? Let's get you inside?" Alice raised a hand to show the general direction of the house, ushering Bella towards the porch.

I'd stood up when she looked for me and successfully fought the urge to ghost to her side, not wanting to spook her. "I'm here, Bella. Let's get you inside." I opened the door and pushed it inwards, allowing her to enter.

We followed slowly, and I deposited the bags beside a small table by the door. The cabin wasn't luxurious, by Cullen standards anyway, but it was large enough for us. It had a small kitchen area adjoining the large lounge we had stepped into from the front door. Three doors along the far wall led to what I presumed were the bathroom and two bedrooms.

"Edward, let's get a fire going and make it a bit more welcoming. Bella? I asked the owners to get the water heating for when we arrived, and I made you up a bag of everything you will need." Alice went to the pile of bags, and in the manner of the mistress of retail chicanery that she was, found one particular bag.

Bella shrank back from the fireplace and looked at me. "No fire, please, Edward."

I examined her carefully. "No fire," I repeated.

"I made this up on the way to finding you - fresh clothes and everything you need for a good long shower. Take your time." Proffering the bag, Alice handed it over to a bemused looking Bella, then opened the middle door of the three, turned on the light, and maneuvered out of the way to let Bella enter.

The door closed with a small click.

Alice turned and moved towards a plush sofa, plopping down on it after removing her coat and throwing it over the back. She looked at me with a toothy smile.

"Go ring Carlisle, it's nearly 10pm back home, and he's waiting for you to call. Give Bella thirty or so minutes - there's a continent and an ocean's worth of grime to remove, not to mention the rest." Alice stood up, crossing the room at top speed to stop next to me, and stood on tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek. "Congratulations! Now go sort your head out, and send my love to Carlisle." She made a shooing motion with both hands and looked pointedly towards the door.

I was torn, as it was proving incredibly difficult to leave my Bella. I wrung my hands together and looked at the bathroom door.

"I'm not going anywhere!" came a shout from the bathroom.

_That doesn't mean you shouldn't hurry back please!_ Bella's inner voice floated into my mind.

I huffed a laugh and ruffled my sister's hair just to annoy her, and made my way to the door, and then to the back of the property and into the forest beyond.

Five minutes and three miles later, I sat on a fallen log and rang my Father.

"Son," Carlisle picked up on the first ring.

I realised I had no idea where to start.

"Carlisle, I..umm, did Alice speak to you before we left?" I decided to find out what he knew.

"She told me a little of what she had seen. Did you find her?" Carlisle's voice was neutral; he was giving nothing away.

I stood up and started to pace, "Yes, we did. We're in Canada. She's English, and she was changed in England...in London. She's had a terrible time and she's about six days old. She killed her husband, and her sire, I think." My face scrunched up, reliving her thoughts as I told Carlisle.

"Slow down, son, she was changed in London, but you found her in Canada less than a week after her change? Why did she go to Canada; what's in Canada for her?" I heard Carlisle stand at this information.

I stopped pacing, my free hand raking through my hair. "Alice and I..." I faltered "There's more. She is gifted, she was drawn to us. If Alice hadn't found her, I think she would have come to Forks."

The more I explained the situation, the more protective I felt of my Bella. I could understand why she had withdrawn in the car. I was stressed, and this wasn't even my life I was talking about. Another crack formed in my defences as I realised that her life was my life. We were linked, and her pain truly was mine.

"I am not sure I have heard of that kind of gift, Edward. English, eh? Have you had a chance to talk to her about the gift? She killed her husband and her sire? Is she a danger to us?" I could sense the concern in Carlisle's voice. Whilst he was the most gentle, caring man I knew, his priority was the safety of his family.

I felt my protectiveness over my Bella rear itself up to full height.

"Carlisle, no! I will vouch for her. I promise you, there's no danger...she needs our help. She needs my help; I need her! She's a good person. Carlisle, please. There's more." I couldn't carry on - he needed to speak - but the notion that she was a danger was abhorrent and untrue, I knew it. I grabbed at my hair and resumed pacing.

"Son, I trust your judgement! Edward, calm down! Tell me what else."

"She's also a mind reader."

And then I had no easy way to say my next and probably biggest bombshell.

"Carlisle..umm, she's my mate." I winced as I said this - it's tangible nature as it was spoken made it real.

Carlisle was silent for a moment. I heard a sob in the background and knew that Esme had heard the conversation.

"Bring my new daughter home, Edward."


	9. Chapter 9

**SM owns all the toys, I make a mess in he sandbox. **

**CindyWindy slaps my punctuation, drives her red pen to the heart of the issue and gives all round good advice, thank you so much for braving my nonsense to make sense from it. **

**Hope you are enjoying the ride so far. I like this chapter a lot, and I would love to know how you feel about it. **

**Enjoy :) **

* * *

**BPOV**

The shower was like a rebirth. Alice had provided a cornucopia of gels, washes, shampoos, conditioners and soaps. All were scent free, which I thought was odd, but I didn't mind. They washed off the grime from my journey. Well, they did once I had worked out how much pressure to use on the respective tubes and bottles without destroying them. Far too little to even register seemed to be more than enough.

As the hot water hit me, I keenly felt the sensation of it splashing on me...every drop registered. The flannel, although fluffy when dry, felt rough on my skin. I discarded it and reverted to using my hands.

Some of the grime took a bit of working to remove. Would I feel like my sins had been washed away by this long overdue baptism? Would my rebirth new and unblemished ease my conscience? I wasn't sure. I just felt clean and new. Better in fact than I had felt in days.

I pushed the shower curtain aside, and it flew off the rod. The rod teetered for a second then joined its friend, crashing to the floor.

"Bollocks!" I growled, and stood for a few seconds to control my temper.

"I'll fix it, don't worry!" Alice chirped happily from the lounge.

I grunted in response, then immediately felt bad. I found the fluffiest, softest towel I could, wrapped it around myself and then cracked open the door as carefully as I was able.

Alice was on the sofa, phone in hand, when she looked up at me.

"Did you have to pay a deposit against damages for this place?" I asked as I hoisted the towel around my middle a bit more.

Alice blinked. "Yes, and I already know we won't be getting it back."

"Bloody hell...Alice, sorry, I seem to have lost the ability to control my strength. Will this get easier?" I had visions of never being able to touch anything again.

"It does, just takes practice. Go get dressed and brush your hair. Let me know if you need more clothes, and Bella?" Alice spoke carefully and gently.

"Yes?"

"You're beautiful! Did you look in the mirror yet?" She smiled as she said this.

"Umm, no, I will when I am dressed, but, er, thanks." I closed the door and gingerly looked in the bag again. Plain white matching cotton undies, a tank top in deep blue, some black yoga pants and deliciously soft chenille socks nestled inside. After the roughness of the towel the clothes felt much softer on my skin. There was also a brush. I steeled myself for the big reveal, grabbed the brush carefully and turned to the mirror.

Who the hell was that?

I took a deep intake of breath. That wasn't me! That person had the same heart shaped face, but everything was better: minute tweaking of symmetry, fuller lips. I bared my teeth...wow, really straight and white. They looked sharp, and were actually kind of too straight. I looked a little too everything: more toned (I grimaced as I told myself the truth here, toned - I'd never joined the ranks of toned before), muscular (but not overly so) and with flawless skin. I'd joined the Gap Model team. I leaned in to look at my eyes which were scarily red. I didn't like that.

I'd never thought of myself as anything but ordinary. I was the median: not too big, not too small, not ugly, but not stunning. I was the plain girl, always. The being that looked back at me in the mirror...I wondered how long it would take to get to know her.

I started to brush my hair. It was glossy and full, and poured over my shoulders annoyingly well. My skin was so white. I'd never been one to tan - I am a Celt after all - but this white was luminous and unnatural looking, and it made those evil looking red eyes even more noticeable.

Alice and Edward's eyes were a beautiful topaz. I placed the brush on the counter, snapping it in half.

"Shit, sorry!" I felt out of control again, like I wasn't me. I didn't really know who I was anymore. Control of my temper seemed to be attached to an elastic band, and it was constantly being twanged.

I opened the door as carefully as I could and walked over to the sofa, sitting on it like it was made of glass.

"I feel like a bull in a china shop," I sighed, letting myself rest back on the sofa. Alice was smaller than me. Her short black hair was sleek and looked amazing. I wondered if Alice ever made a wrong move or had a hair out of place. She looked dressed to the nines, and I felt like I should be wearing boxing gloves to stop myself from tearing my clothes at every opportunity. Looking at her now, really for the first time, she didn't look much older than 18 or so. I felt old suddenly.

Alice laughed, and handed me a pair of slip on shoes. "Laces are the advanced course," she said, looking pointedly at my hands. Alice was right, I wasn't at the stage of a five year old yet. I groaned and dropped them on the floor, and proceeded to inch my feet into them.

"You look magnificent, Bella! You cleaned up very well! I'm being lenient on the clothing, but as soon as we get home, I'll have you all kitted out like a Cullen! I can't wait!" I'd never seen someone over the age of seven bounce excitedly on a sofa before, but Alice carried it well. I saw so many lists of clothes and brands and styles flash through her mind, it made me dizzy. I shook my head to clear it. It didn't work. I ignored talk of home. Things were confusing enough.

"Sorry! Sorry, I'll try and tone down the thinking. Is it very invasive?" She looked concerned. "Edward can help you with that. He uses music a lot, maybe that will help you as well."

"You make me dizzy, Alice!" I laughed a little, then smiled. "I hope we can be friends. You have been so kind. And I hope I don't wreck anything. I seem to do nothing but destroy things at the moment." I looked down at my hands. They had ruined so many things in the last week. I hope they would be under more control soon. I felt a closeness toward Alice. No malice or fear emanated from her, in fact, she had a joy that erupted from her. Happiness was tangible in her mind, and excitement - she seemed to be very excitable.

Alice squealed. I jumped, and fought for a few moments to calm myself.

"Sorry! Sorry! I'm just so glad you want to be friends! We will be great friends! You will be like a sister to me, I promise!" She looked so sure, it made me feel a little hope.

"Why are my eyes red...why aren't they like yours?" I looked over at her. The colour was clear and very striking. I wondered if topaz eyes were like a level up that I had to attain. The red of my eyes was too much like _his_ eyes had been, and I wanted shot of them as soon as possible.

"Your eyes are red because of the blood in your body. As your body uses up its reserves of your human blood, and any other human blood you may have consumed..." She looked away at that point, sad for me, then looked back and took my hand. "They will fade to this colour as you continue to feed from animals."

Feed.

The word was like turning on a switch. My mouth gushed with venom, and the fire in my throat I had pushed away returned with a vengeance.

I swallowed deeply. Alice saw this, cocking her head to one side.

"Newborns get hungry regularly. We should make sure you feed at least every two days. It will get easier." Alice was explaining this like I was on a Weight Watchers plan or something. I nodded vacantly. I was ravenous, and the burn was exquisitely painful.

"Edward and I will answer all your questions later, I promise. We have some questions for you as well."

I nodded and tried to concentrate on a list of questions, anything to take my mind off the hellfire in my throat.

"Edward will be back in five minutes. He's brought you takeout!" She beamed at me, and looked all proud.

"Takeout? Alice, I'm not sure a number 94 will do it for me at the moment." I was reminded of Friday evenings with Mike, eating takeaway Chinese in front of the telly. The sight of noodles in my mind's eye made me want to dry heave.

"You'll see. He's very taken with you, you know." Alice gave me a conspiratorial wink.

Edward. I thought back to his arms around me, the shock of connection when our skin touched, his achingly beautiful face, and the comfort his mind brought me. Whilst there was the white hot light of happiness emanating from Alice, in Edward there was quiet strength, and despite the glimpses of smugness I had seen, there was a lack of self confidence. I wonder if he realised that that was in fact what made him so strong, and - I forced myself to confront it - attractive.

I opened my mouth to say something but wasn't sure what the right response was, so I closed my mouth again. There was supposed to be a response that was polite and correct, but my Superbrain was insistent on cataloging the different ways I could list how I felt about Edward. I clamped my mouth shut and looked away.

"He's back! Bella, open the door for him, could you? Remember to be gentle with the door, please. It's good practice, remember?" Alice looked mighty pleased with herself, and I got up and moved to the door.

Alice stood up and walked behind me as I went to open the door. I had heard his mind approaching, and it had put me at my ease somewhat. He seemed very concerned about whether what he had would be ok, whatever IT was.

I grasped the doorknob, applied what I thought was a ridiculously light touch and twisted, then pulled back the door. Edward was walking past his car towards the porch with a dirty, great beast on his back. He saw me, stiffened in shock, and then the animal, one of those huge elk/moose things, fell from his shoulders and crashed to the ground. It was only knocked out; Edward had carried my meal live to me.

Our eyes met.

"I...er...brought you a moose. I...umm...was worried you needed to feed." If it was possible for Edward to look sheepish and magnificent in that moment he did. His eyes raked over my now cleaned and scrubbed form and I saw him lick his lips, look down guiltily and then become entranced by the snow beside his shoe, which he proceeded to kick at with nervous energy.

Hunger overrode any other thoughts. I closed the gap between me and the moose in less than the blink of an eye. Edward jumped out of my way, moving to the side while facing me. I growled "Mine!" before crouching over the animal and sinking my teeth into its warm flesh. Sucking the velvet wetness into my parched throat, I scooted and dragged the creature so that I was facing Edward, the predator in me needing to see potential threats to my meal. My mind was set on the blood. The moose's life force was ebbing; I felt compelled to consume it quickly.

I eyed the other vampire as I greedily emptied the now dead moose. Edward was staring in my general direction, but not directly at me. The blood flow was slowing, and the huge animal had filled me for the moment. I sensed my brain taking over again; clarity returned. I felt a little ashamed for what had obviously been rude and quite threatening behaviour.

I disengaged from the moose and pinched the wound, stemming the blood flow, and looked at Edward. I wiped my mouth with my free hand.

"Want some?" I shook the neck of the moose. I thought it was only fair, seeing as he had brought the meal. At this moment I also felt like I needed him closer.

I sat back from my crouch, settling to sit on the ground next to the moose. Edward started to inch forward slowly and carefully. Crouching down next to the moose and facing me, he dipped his head to the neck of the animal and started to drink, his eyes never leaving mine. I felt myself take a breath. It caught in my throat as his scent hit me. He smelt phenomenal. The combination of searing gaze and Eau d'Edward was an intoxicating mix.

A small involuntary whelp left my mouth. The situation was far too charged for me to deal with. My eyes were locked with Edward's. His arm was cradling the moose's neck, tantalisingly close to me. I couldn't help myself - his voice in my mind, feral and wild, enjoying the taste of the blood, and his eyes drinking me in - all were a heady mix. I reached out so slowly and hesitated when my hand was above his. An infinitesimal nod from him, and I laid my hand upon his. He sighed, mouth still locked onto the moose, and his eyes fluttered and closed briefly. His hand was warm to my touch, and the zapping shock coursed into me, causing me to gasp. Edward's eyes flicked open at the noise, and his thumb moved to graze the top of my hand.

The caress was a promise; we both felt it instantly. A year's worth of words could not have imparted the meaning that simple touch held. I was safe, loved and wanted. Half of my brain melted at the knowledge - my body certainly reacted - but the other half of my brain held me in check. Feelings of fear, guilt and self loathing vied to override the inevitability of the course I knew I would be taking with Edward.

_I promise, I understand - you will let me know._ His mind was like a siren on the shore, beautiful to me. I was drawn to the simplicity of the message, and humbled by the depth of feeling I felt there.

I stared at our hands, the gentle touch of his thumb a lifeline thrown to save me in my storm.

I closed the gap between us. He cast aside the moose and I leaned into him. Strong arms wrapped around me and there were no words.

"My table manners are reprehensible and I'm rude. I'm sorry I growled. Thank you for...dinner." I pulled back away from him slowly and looked at my tank top with a grimace.

"You were hungry, and I've never been invited to share dinner - it was an experience." Edward smiled as he said this. I caught the word _erotic_ in his mind before he buried it with an embarrassed huff.

He wasn't wrong; that was the single most sexiest thing I had ever experienced.

I played with the hem of his shirt and accidentally ripped the edge of it, then tutted at myself in frustration.

"Edward, there are things you need to know, things that are going to take time." I looked away, filled with guilt. I was ashamed at that point, and felt conflicted between the past and the future.

"You don't know how long I have waited for you. I'm going nowhere without you. We'll travel this path together. It doesn't matter how long it takes." He looked breathless, his chest heaved, and his hands wavered as they lightly brushed my arms.

He looked me up and down, took a shuddering breath, and caught my gaze.

"Bella, you are beautiful. A vision. I want you to know that. These feelings I am having, I've never..." He looked abashed, his words trailing. Shaking his head, he stood, and extended a hand. I took it and rose to my feet easily.

"I'll clear this mess. Do you want to clean up? Then we should all talk. Alice is about to go thermonuclear with curiosity about you. I know you have questions as well." He motioned with his head back towards the cabin, and I saw Alice at the window jiggling like a child.

Edward hoisted the moose easily over his shoulder and started towards the rear of the cabin. I watched him walk away for a moment, because I'd be a damn fool not to.

By the time I got to the door, Alice was practically vibrating.

"Bella, you absolute minx, I'm so trying that with Jasper next chance I get!" Alice turned tail and ushered me into the cabin. Looks like it was time to tell the tale of how I got here. I wondered if the truth would be too much for them.


	10. Chapter 10

**SM owns all the sand that go up to make the universe I play in. **

**Thank you to everyone for their comments so far on this tale. I have been blessed with not only the most patient beta in the existence of betas - CindyWindy listens to me moan and groan, and then attacks the overgrown and out of control jungle of my words, making them palatable and understandable. Thank you my friend, you are the reason we are here at Chapter 10. **

**Chapter 11 may be a little late in arriving, maybe a week, it's half written, but I have been working nights all this week, and haven't been awake enough to write. **

**Enough waffle, let us find out some answers...or just get more questions? **

* * *

**EPOV**

The remains of dinner buried under a tree in the forest, I made my way back to the cabin. My mind was racing. I'd never recalled hearing from the minds of my family any of them sharing a meal. It was primal; a show of trust that was unheard of. It was also quite the sexiest thing I had ever experienced. Not difficult given my blank page of experience in all things sexy, but as an introduction, I am sure it would take some beating.

My Bella, when not covered in animal innards and dried moose blood, was quite the most exquisite creature I had ever laid eyes on. I hadn't meant to drop the moose in the unceremonious way I had, but at the sight of her my world had shifted again. I mentally kicked myself at how ridiculous I must have looked gawping like a teenage boy. Oh yeah, that was right, I was a teenaged boy. The only geriatric teenaged virgin on the planet. I gave myself a shake to get rid of wallowing thoughts. I wasn't sure it worked.

The outline of the cabin came into view and my thoughts grew sober. This was going to be difficult for my Bella. I resolved to be a man, give her space, let her reach out if she needed me, and not be the fawning mass of hormones that I had been whilst in the forest disposing of our dinner.

I allowed myself a last grin at the memory of our shared meal then pulled myself together.

The cabin was dimly lit. I entered the lounge and took a seat on the sofa next to Alice. Bella was sitting on a plush armchair facing us. I nodded at her.

_Take your time, tell me if you need me with you._ Bella heard my words of encouragement and nodded back.

"No conversations that everyone can't hear - no fair!" Alice said with a pout.

Bella looked guilty. "Alice, I have no idea how to control this. I don't do it on purpose, and I think it makes it more difficult for Edward as well. Believe you me, I really don't need him hearing my inner monologue at the moment!"

"Just keep your mouths in gear!" She laughed and sat up a little straighter.

"OK, so in the interest of openness," Alice began, "and to make sure you feel safe and so you know there's nothing funny going on, this is what's going to happen. Jasper will be here in a day or so. He's going to meet Edward in the nearest town and bring him here because Edward's car will be in the shop for a couple of days.

"We'll do a last check to make sure you are ok to travel, and then we will start to make our way to Forks - that's where we live. Jasper will have documents for you and I'll take a couple of photos of you after we've had a little chat and get those off to him so our man can use them to make your new IDs.

Bella raised her hand. Alice looked pleased at this manner of interruption and nodded at her to proceed. "Who is Jasper?"

"My husband. He's also experienced at looking after newborns, so he will be well placed to make sure everything goes smoothly on our trip home." Alice eyes glazed a little at the mention of Jasper; she was missing her mate. "I promise that we will tell you all about our family and answer any questions you may have later. Bella, I'm eager to hear how you were changed. Will you tell us?"

Bella got up from the chair and walked to the window. It was around midnight, and snow was starting to fall. We waited as she composed herself.

I watched as she walked to each window and looked out. She'd go to place her hands on the glass before stopping for fear of breaking it. Then she'd move on to the next one. Rinse, repeat. Finally she stopped and half turned; her eyes squeezed shut and a small crease formed between them.

"After a certain point everything is so clear. Thinking back now, other things are fuzzy, but I will try my best. Please interrupt me to ask questions if you need to. There may be things of a...personal nature I don't want to talk about. I will tell you the basic details of what happened though." Bella spoke slowly, obviously trying to sort through her memories.

"Everything important will come out, just maybe not all in one go." Bella turned away from us as she said this, as though ashamed. The urge to go to her, to tell her she didn't have to relive these things was huge.

"I feel like I am being interviewed for a job!" Bella laughed at herself then, before turning back to us. "What if I'm not good enough? What if what I tell you is too awful?" Her crisp accent sounded like fine cut glass to my ears.

I shook my head. "Bella, you are coming home with me - with us. We just need to know what happened so we can help you better. There is nothing you can tell us that would make me change my mind about you. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to you that we're very curious about the pull you speak of. Let's start off with how you came to be who you are now?" I tried to look as neutral as I could. The thought of my Bella not coming home with us scared me more than anything had for as long as I could remember. There was no home for me where there was no Bella.

Bella nodded, and turned back to the window.

"I was coming home from a trip to the West End. We live...lived in South London - Herne Hill, do you know it? Anyway, I'd been to late night shopping to get Mike a birthday present. Comics. He loved graphic novels, and I'd had to go to Soho to pick up some FacePunch novel that had just come out - it was a special order. Usual Mike, not backwards about coming forward with what he wanted as a gift.

"It was properly dark, had been for a few hours, and it was last Friday. Mike's birthday was this week." She stopped, turned around to us.

"Mike is my hus..." Bella paused, swallowed deeply, then continued. "Mike was my husband. We had been married for two years." Bella winced as she corrected herself.

I hid my thoughts deep in my mind, and cringed internally at the mention of her husband. I felt like a cad, but it bit deep into me that she belonged to another. I worried that whatever we might have would not match her former marriage. I was jealous of a dead man. I was scared of the power a dead man had over the woman who was my mate. I couldn't comprehend how much of a bastard I was at that moment. I filed these thoughts deeply away from the front of my mind where Bella couldn't hear them, and steeled myself to be as supportive as possible. I mentally gave myself an "11" on the bastard scale. I listened as Bella continued.

"Anyway, I got off the train, and it was dark, like I said, but there were a few people getting off the train as well. I started for home. It's a bit of a walk; anything too close to the station is too expensive. Mike's parents bought us that house. Well, him.

"I nipped into the shop near the house, bought some ice cream as a treat for me, and stocked up on some fizzy water and some milk. I'd just finished some silly research thing I had seen advertised in the paper, and they'd paid me for my time, so I was a bit flush.

"The shop is like, I dunno, two minutes from the house." Bella stopped talking. She turned around to face us. Her face contorted in fear and anger.

"I knew something was weird when I opened the door. The lights were off, but the telly was on - I could hear it. I remember going into the lounge." Bella stopped again, then started to pace and wring her hands.

"Mike was handcuffed to the radiator...he was gagged. The fear! He looked so afraid, his eyes, it was like he was telling me to run. Then...then I saw him." Bella stopped pacing, slumped down against the wall by the window and drew her legs up against her chest. She didn't make eye contact.

"I went to get out, but he caught me." Bella's voice was small, her hands in her hair.

"He looked like you...us. His eyes, they weren't like yours, but were deep deep red, deeper than mine are now. He was stroking my hair, telling me things...what did he say?" Bella stared off into space, her eyes glazing as she searched her dim human memories.

"Something about being impressed, how it had been a long search," Bella looked up at that. "I will try and remember more, but let me tell you this all first?" She looked at us for approval.

"You are doing so well, take your time. The memories are fuzzy, aren't they? Human memories are not as perfect as our enhanced minds, so they seem dull and fuzzy. Take your time, Bella." I wanted her to know she was doing so well. I was seeing her memories as she saw them, but she didn't need to know that at the moment, as it would make my Bella more uncomfortable. The memories were harrowing.

Bella nodded and took a calming breath. "I was screaming blue murder at him. He broke my arm to make me shut up, and then I remember him laughing. The noise was horrible.

"I kept trying to get away, and he'd swat me like a fly and then laugh. I spat at him after he had hit me in the face, and the blood splattered in his face. I think that just excited him. He'd let me get so far away then strike me. In the end I was laying on the floor just looking at Mike. Both arms and a leg I think he broke, and the pain was immense." Bella heaved back a sob, then laughed an empty joyless laugh.

"Well it seemed bad...but what came after was worse.

"He told me to say goodbye to my life. He made me say goodbye to Mike. He told me that as long as I was quiet he would ..." Bella stopped speaking then; her hands covered her face.

I couldn't stand it any longer. In a flash I was on the floor, sitting next to her, with my arm around her. She was as rigid as a pylon.

From beneath her hands she started to speak again. "He told me that if I was quiet and didn't make a sound he would make sure he kept Mike alive for me. He made me thank him, he made me say his name to thank him." Bella's hands moved from her face. She looked at me, and threw herself across the room, hitting the far wall and crumpling to the ground.

"I thought he promised to keep him safe, promised to spare him! I thanked him! I thanked him, and he kept him alive for me to feed from!

"I didn't know what I was doing! I thanked that bastard for making my first meal my husband!"

Bella lost any and all composure she had managed to bind to herself at that point. Huge dry heaving sobs were dredged from her. Her hands shook as she saw them in her mind destroying her husband as she fed from him.

I growled; I couldn't help it. The memories Bella was showing me were horrific. The vampire held her up against the wall by her neck, made her say her goodbyes, and then made her promise to be quiet. Then he bit her, and let her drop to the floor. I closed my eyes and forced her thoughts of the change out of my head.

Alice had the forethought to move to Bella's side and had her arm around her shaking, sobbing form. Small comforting sounds were all that Alice could manage. She was doing better than me; I was in a murderous rage, and the growl in my throat hadn't yet stopped.

"Edward! Stop it, you aren't helping! It's done, and all we can do is be here for her. You are scaring her, and she needs calm." Alice was right.

I closed my eyes and readjusted my temper. I had to be strong and calm. When I was in a little more control, I moved over to where Alice and Bella were, and sat in front of Bella.

"Bella," I said gently. She had stopped sobbing, and had pulled herself into a tight ball, her legs against her chest again. "You don't have to tell us what happens next, we can work it out. Just know there is no blame in this; it was not you fa-" Bella looked up at me.

"I killed him," Bella said quietly. "I woke up. He ripped Mike's hand off. Mike screamed." Bella swallowed as she relived the scene. "I couldn't stop myself." Alice held her hand.

"I ripped him to shreds, Edward. There was nothing left that could be identified as Mike!" Bella held her hands up in front of herself and stared at them like they weren't hers.

"He laughed at me while I did it, told me I was messy." She spat the last word.

"He told me he'd show me how a real man could be, and then he tried to...he...er.." Her eyes averted. I growled again, and Alice shot me a look.

"I pulled part of the radiator pipe off the wall smacked him with it, and then I grabbed the closest part of him and yanked. I was so angry and scared!" Bella looked at me, her hands clenched tightly together.

"That's how I found out..you lot..we...I mean..vampires don't die when you pull their heads off. They look like they are dead, but their bodies move towards their heads!" Bella held her head in her hands, and took a deep breath. It was a truly horrific sight: in Bella's mind she saw the headless body quiver and inch its way towards its own head, the eyes unseeing.

"I panicked. The house was trashed. I set fire to the place. He wouldn't have survived that would he? I made sure his cloak was soaked in lighter fluid, and the head, then I doused the rest of the lounge and then I got out and started to run." Bella looked at me, she was still shaking a little. I stared at her in shock.

"Fire just seemed to be the best course of action. Before I knew what was happening I had the lighter fluid in my hands. I wanted no evidence, and I didn't know how to kill that bastard. He wouldn't stop moving and I wanted him dead." Bella was bunching her hands into fists, her teeth were clenched.

I caught her hands in mine and held them, forcing her to pay attention to me. "He had a cloak? Anything else he was wearing that you can remember? Please think about what he looked like, so I can see." I look at her carefully, and I see it: a gray cloak. The man has blondish hair and is about the same height as me. Bella is looking at his body, and there is a necklace, golden with a crest. I recognise it immediately from Carlisle's memories.

"Bella, do you remember his name?" I asked carefully.

"Demetri. He said his name was Demetri. His accent was English." Bella's voice was small. She was still seeing her past in her mind, and I was seeing it as well. The confusion was immense. Sounds and smells were magnified; my own throat was burning from the memory of Mike's blood. Added to that was the acrid smell of the lighter fluid, the mixture of noxious fumes from the furniture starting to burn, and the smell of the vampire as he went up in flames. All that mixed with the laughing voice of Demetri, his face up close to hers, and his hands unwelcome in their advances, the sickening crunch of his head leaving its body and hands inching their way towards a discarded head.

I marvelled at the strength of this small woman in front of me who had woken as a newborn with all the disorientation that the state of awakening brings with it, plus the added discombobulation of the voices she must have been hearing from her newly awakened gift. She is driven to kill her own husband, is attacked, defends herself, and then has to destroy everything she has ever known and run, destination unknown, with a body that she could barely control. Her fortitude left me breathless.

The confusion from the events she is reliving in her mind are confusing to me, and I am dizzy from the sheer overload of her memories. I gasp and hold her close.

As her panic subsides, I feel her mind return to the present time. Another part of my mind is registering Alice's alarm. I hear her thoughts in a scramble and I know Bella does as well. Alice is a smart cookie, and she knows me well enough to tell by the stricken look on my face what has happened.

I tried to keep the fear from my mind, but I know I fail when Bella pushes herself away from me.

Alice looked at me in trepidation as she took out her phone and dialed.

"Carlisle, we have a problem."


	11. Chapter 11

**Intrepid reader, thank you for your patience! Work went a bit mad there for a couple of weeks, and then, well I had a few issues with this chapter. It was a difficult birth, my amazing Beta CindyWindy had to practically do a forceps delivery on it. CW I am glad you can tell me when to trash it and when to keep it. You are the finesse behind my mashing of keys!**

**I'm playing in SM's sandpit, and loving it!**

**So a brief recap:**

**Bella is changed in London. She is compelled by an unknown urge to travel west. Alice sees her arrival and tricks Edward into a road trip where their paths cross in Canada. Bella is a mind reader. After a tumultuous first few hours together, Alice and Edward talk Bella into accompanying them to a cabin so they can help her understand what has happened to her, and also hear the story of how she came to be. Edward believes Bella is his Mate, and Alice seems to agree. Bella has just explained how her change came about, and has shared some worrying news about killing a vampire who appeared to be a member of the Volturi. Alice has just rung Carlisle:**

**"Carlisle, we have a problem."**

* * *

**BPOV**

It was at that moment I realised what a gift my vampiric brain was. Superbrain was no longer the right term; it was so yesterday. I understood at that moment my brain was layered, could process many things, and make sense of them all at the same time. Alice was on the phone to someone called Carlisle. She was talking very fast recounting the misadventures that had led me to this point. Who was Carlisle? Someone important if she was telling him all that. Her pace increased as she got to the part about the lighter fluid and the cloak. I decided that wasn't good. Alice's mind was flying. I could see it all in my mind: a hot white trail of fear and trepidation.

It looked like I was the problem.

The front door to the cabin was heavy oak, deep amber in colour from age and patina, with a lovely piece of stained glass in the top. I made a mental note to not break it as I made my escape. Who knew how difficult it would be to replace that in WhoknowswhereweareinCanada.

I'd caused enough trouble for these people, and now I felt so much trepidation and fear from them over my killing of Demetri, I was scared for my safety. Of course! You can't expect to kill one of your own kind without some form of retribution.

Another part of my brain was already mourning the loss of Edward. He was a safe port, or had been. I wondered if I would meet another being who would make me feel like that? Perhaps if I kept my big fat mouth shut about killing vampires next time.

Next time..I'd have to be quick to get out of here. The burn in my throat was starting up again. I needed some more moose juice, and perhaps when I was far enough away I could bag one myself.

A tightness in my chest took hold when I realised I'd never get to share a meal with Edward again. I'd never see Edward again. A new layer in my thoughts hoped that if I did die tonight, it would be by his hand, because if the last thing these eyes saw was Edward, that wouldn't be a loss.

I stood up.

"Pretend we never met. I won't hurt another vampire, please just let me go." I started towards the door, and felt a heavy weight push roughly onto me.

_Nononononononopleasenono! You are safe, I told you! Safesafesafesafe!_

Edward's tone in my mind was a mixture of desperation, gentleness and panic. It sounded odd in my head (let's face it, everything did at the moment) and I wondered how it would sound spoken aloud. Strong sinewy arms held me in place. I bucked backwards and pushed against him.

_I'm a problem! I killed one of us, so why would you want me around?_ I swiveled in his grip so I was looking at him and cocked my head angrily to one side.

_We've not told you anything. We just rolled you in here, threw you in the shower then interrogated you, with not a whisper to answer your questions. It was more than rude, it was selfish and unconscionable. You are safe. It's perhaps never right to kill…but self defense is always good enough for me. No one will hurt you._ Edward let go of me and backed away as if he had been burnt and looked away as if embarrassed.

Edward took a breath. "You are safe here. Do you not believe my mind? Do you think I can let you leave?" His breath hit me, sweet and strong, pine and caramel, as he sought to regain composure.

"No one is going to hurt you. We are worried about who you killed," Edward murmured from the safe haven of the kitchenette.

_You aren't going to kill me? Why does Alice sound so worried? Her mind..it's screaming!_ I looked at him then closed my eyes, my hands involuntarily going to my ears. Alice really was loud. It was like being at the front row of a very noisy concert.

Edward sniggered at my analogy then looked like someone had told him his puppy had died. Horribly. His face screwed up, and he looked sad and frustrated.

_No, we aren't. No one is going to kill you, Isabella Swan. I'm not sure how to make myself more clear._ There was a decidedly ill-tempered exhalation from the kitchenette, and I watched as Edward started to pace from the sink to the fridge and back again.

_I will help you with your gift, but yes, Alice does have as loud and annoying a brain as her mouth is._ His smile was lopsided and conspiratorial at that.

I bowed my head infinitesimally towards Mr. Kitchenette Rambler. _Thank you. Do we get migraines? I have one, I think._

My head was sore, my heart, though dead, was aflame, my soul was guilty, and Alice was in my mind in 45 different ways. I wasn't sure what she was saying out loud compared to what I was hearing from her brain.

Alice looked at both of us and likened us to a pair of mime artists recreating a lovers' tiff. From the image I got of us (US?! Not sure how that happened!) we did look faintly ridiculous: neither of us speaking, both of us glaring, and lots of gesticulations and loaded looks. I hadn't even realized that I hadn't spoken at all for a while.

"No Carlisle, he can't take the phone right now, he and Bella are having their first tiff. Oh? No, no, it's not….a verbal argument. Yes, OK I will put it on speaker, hold on." Alice looked at us pointedly, and placed the phone on the coffee table next to the sofa then went and sat in the armchair.

Edward ran his fingers through his hair once more and walked to the sofa, sitting with a huff.

"Edward? Bella? Can you hear me?" the phone, and I presume this Carlisle said. His voice was faintly English, almost like he had been in the US for a while and had gained the odd melding of the two accents. I could hear clearly the voice of an Englishman, and a Southerner at that.

"Yes." We both said it at the same time.

There was a second of a muffled laugh, when you hear someone smile over a phone, then he began.

"Bella, I would have preferred to have our first meeting face to face, but needs must I suppose, and I will get to meet you in a few days. My name is Carlisle Cullen. It's nice to meet you, and I am looking forward to having another Londoner in the family, because these colonials sometimes have absolutely no idea! They are my family, and I love them, and I hope you will come to feel the same way. I understand that you have had somewhat of a rocky start, but I think my children have been somewhat remiss in their conversation with you. What do you know of our kind?" I heard Carlisle settle into what sounded like a leather chair. For some reason I was reminded of Charlie's Angels. Carlisle was the mysterious, wise voice at the end of a speaker, who gave information, gave the orders and was respected and loved by all...in this case Edward and Alice, who had both visibly relaxed.

"Umm..hello Carlisle, it's nice to talk to you as well. I don't really know anything about our kind. I mean I know we drink blood...but I want you to know I have managed just fine on animals. I mean the seals tasted horrible, but deer and mooses...mooses? Is that how you say it? They taste ok. I'm never touching another human. I don't have to, do I? Fast, we're really fast, swimming and walking and running - any movement really. My brain has exploded, Carlisle...so much more space to think! This can be good, can be bad - my attention span is nonexistent, and I feel like a four year old. I have a temper...I mean I always did...terrible temper...I called Edward some bloody horrible names. I'm sorry, Edward, for now and in the future. I sparkle! Carlisle! What the hell, am I radioactive? What's the deal there? At first I thought I couldn't go out in the sun, and then I was in a forest in fuckknowswhereCanada...oops, sorry! Anyway, I got caught in the light, I sparkled - that was a shock! The colours, Carlisle, what are they? I have no names for them, do you? Why don't we sleep? I'd love a nap, my brain is about to explode, I am so on edge! I think I need to eat again, is that normal? Edward brought me dinner, and we shared it..that was really nice and frankly a little sexy..." It was at this point I realised that I'd opened the floodgates and gone a tad too far.

"Oh no, too much, sorry, damnit, Edward, sorry, but bloody hell it was..." I huffed, moved self consciously from one foot to the other, and then walked towards the sofa and sat down next to Edward. I leant forward and held my head in my hands, pushing them against my skull.

"Carlisle, the mind reading is doing my head in, and I'm scared of everything I am feeling. I don't think I know nearly enough, and Edward and Alice have done a very good job at looking after me, but I am skittish as a wild horse, and I've done some bad things, and I think they are about to bite me big time on the arse."

I felt a tentative arm snake around my back and lightly touch me. Fingers splayed, a gentle circular motion started. I tensed for a moment - the sensation was extreme, like the small movement was creating a whirlpool of my stress, and the gentle rhythm was pulling the stress away in a vortex. I shivered and relaxed.

"Bella, I apologise on behalf of my children. It's very unlike them to be so remiss as to not explain a few crucial things to you." Carlisle paused, his voice a little reproachful, and I heard in both Edward and Alice's mind the crush that the disappointment in Carlisle's voice made them feel.

"I believe they will remedy this situation as soon as we conclude this call." Carlisle's words were a gentle prod to his children, and I heard their assent in my mind, and looked to see both of them nodding and looking slightly ashamed.

"You are not in danger from us, Bella. I give you my word." Carlisle paused for emphasis. I believed him. Edwards hand on my back stilled as he heard the belief in my mind.

"Thank you." I wasn't sure what the correct and most respectful answer was in reply to someone saying they weren't going to kill you, but thanks seemed to be the best fallback position.

"I hope once my children have taken the time to properly talk to you about your new life, you will take some time to think about whether or not you would like to spend your life as part of my family. Our ways are not the ways of the more...traditional of our kind, but our values seem to be very much in line with decisions you have taken on your own. It's not an easy path, Bella, but that is why I...and I know Edward and Alice feel the same way…we'd like you to be a part of our family, so we can help and support you." Carlisle sounded serious and proud.

"Carlisle, I will give it serious consideration. Thank you." I didn't know what else to say. Cultural stiff upper lip dictated that I not be too forward in accepting his kind offer, but I knew if after all this mess was sorted out and I was still welcome, I would be unable to imagine myself anywhere else.

"Good! There is more to discuss about your change, and the circumstances, but I daresay we will have time enough for that when you are home. Listen to Edward and Alice, they will help you." Carlisle paused and I heard the smile return. "And Bella? Go easy on Edward, he's had 80 years of having no one in his mind. I speak from experience when I say that having someone hear your innermost thoughts takes some getting used to. I believe the phrase from our homeland is 'he won't like it up him.'" Carlisle laughed and said his goodbyes, after reminding Alice to get the photos to Jasper.

Arrangements were made for Jasper to meet with us the next day. Alice had leapt from her armchair and had sped into one of the bedrooms.

I sat on the sofa trying not to smile at Carlisle's comment. He had used the phrase correctly; Edward really wasn't liking tables turned. He showed this by his frequent snatching of thoughts from the front of his mind to be squirreled away somewhere I wasn't able to hear them. I glanced over at him as I sat up and leant back, trapping his hand behind me. I liked the contact. He did feel safe, and I was grateful for that.

"I'm hungry," I said simply.

"You are thirsty. We drink." Edward corrected, then closed his eyes and rubbed his free hand over his face. The hand at my back pushed against me again. Images of us from earlier sharing the meal flashed in both of our minds, the two perspectives melded into one memory that we both shared. Edward looked horrified and turned away. I laughed and his head snapped around to face me again.

"I can't help it and you can't help it. Carlisle is right, you really don't like it up ya, do you? I suppose there is some comfort in the fact we were both reliving the same memory!" I searched his face; his emotions traveled his beautiful features like a Mexican wave. It was a damnable shame that I knew I'd never get to play poker against this man.

"Edward, there's so much I don't know. So much I obviously need to know. Help me." While I wasn't exactly a damsel in distress, I did need as much help as I could get.

"Sorry. I'm sorry we have been...we've been crap. You must be so confused. Shall we start at the beginning, the base, and work upwards? Let's hunt. I can show you how we do it, then we can sit and talk, and we will tell you everything." Edward's voice was gentle, the whirlwind-expunging circles were resumed on my back.

Alice skidded to a halt in front of me before I had a chance to answer.

"Photos first, missy, you are a very messy feeder." Alice was brandishing a camera that looked so advanced it would shoot lasers. I stood up and was duly photographed, noting that vampirism also seemed to cure the universal disease of bad passport photos. I hovered awkwardly around Alice as she sent the photos to Jasper.

"I'm sorry too, Bella. I remember how I felt when I woke up…I wouldn't have wished anything like that on anyone. I'm not sorry you are here and in my life now…it was meant to be. Come on, let's go hunt. We'll find a nice spot after, and we can give you the skinny."

The sun was beginning to rise by the time the hunting (that left me sloshy, which Alice said was always a good state for a newborn to be in) and the talking was finally done. I had paced, been incredulous ("Really? They can be reattached? Eww, that's kind of horrible…and freaky!") humbled ("You are over 100? Carlisle is how old?") and finally scared ("Bloodlust never really goes away? I don't want to kill anyone.").

I sat against the boulder Alice and Edward were leant against. The three of us were in a line as the sun crept over the distant mountaintop and hit the rock face of the mountain we were on. Sparkles went everywhere. I felt like a lizard sucking up the heat; I felt it in my limbs. I watched as the earth's rotation changed minutely the angle of the sun, and mingled with the air currents in the atmosphere to change the kaleidoscope effect the sun had on the skin of my arms. I wasn't moving; I was as still as the rock that we leant against. Time was in the changing diameter and colour of those sparkles. I was unmoving; time marched on and changed all around me. The magnificence and despair of that realisation hit me squarely in the chest. I stood up and started to pace again.

Edward watched me carefully, as he'd seen the machinations of my mind. I looked at him askance. We'd promised Alice to be more verbal, as it was annoying the hell out of her.

"The permanence: how do you cope with it? We're like mountains in those time lapse films. Thinking about forever….it's bloody scary. I don't think I have comprehended it all yet." I stood at the edge of the outcrop we were lounging on and watched the sun. I remembered being told never to look at the sun as it would damage my eyesight. I was impervious to that now. I stared and stared, watching the earth weave it's way around the sun.

"Just be, Bella. Forever is a concept that takes a little while to even start to understand fully. At times it seems like a chain around your neck, each second dragging with no hope of respite. Others...no amount of time would seem long enough." Edward had drawn his knees up to his chest as he said this, and seemed to catch his breath in his throat. "Don't allow yourself to be lonely. Being alone is fine if you enjoy it…we all enjoy periods of solitude. But believe me, loneliness in this life will make every moment seem like a lifetime." He dropped his head to his knees. His thoughts were exactly what he was saying, but there was such conviction behind them.

I hugged myself. So much had gone on in the past week or so, a part of me believed I needed to go through some form of purgatory before I could allow myself to live this strange new life. I shook my head and kicked a small stone far off the ledge and into the distance. I watched it's path and pushed those thoughts from my head. There was time to deal with the guilt.

Edward heard this and nodded. "You are right, you really do have all the time in the world."

I sat on the edge of the outcropping, dangled my legs over the side, and decided that it was time to talk about the elephant that was sitting in our little conversation space.

"So this person," I screwed my face up at having to describe that thing as a person. "The one from the Volturi. Why? Why me? How did they find me? There's bloody stupid sodding nine million people in London!" I didn't look at them; I didn't want to see their faces.

There was a silence. Then I heard the shift of a leather sole on rock and Edward plopped down beside me. His shirt covered arm touched my t-shirt clad arm.

"You are one hell of a gifted vampire, Bella. The pull you experienced...we haven't even really talked about that, but that's a gift of some kind. Telepathy is a rare gift; I've certainly never met another one. The Volturi enjoy adding those to their ranks who are an asset to them." He said this gently, not looking at me, but obviously watching an eagle that was soaring some miles away.

I turned to look at him. "But I couldn't do any of those things before. How did they know? Do they often go and grab humans to change? Is it like a potluck for them?" I was getting worked up about it again. A long fingered hand moved over mine and held it gently, his thumb making lazy circles over my skin.

"From what I have heard from Carlisle's memories humans were never taken unless it was for feeding." Edward watched as venom pooled in my mouth and I swallowed a few times before gaining my composure back.

Alice gasped from behind us and stood up.

"Jasper has decided to bring the laptop with him when he comes here. I see him looking, no hacking to find out why you were chosen. I need to go ring him now. No service up here, of course - well not for another 90 years or so. I'll see you two back at the cabin, ok? Bella, they won't find you for a long time. You killed their best tracker! See you later!" Alice literally jumped off the side of the mountain. It was a little unnerving to say the least.

I looked over at Edward and giggled, the absurdity of Alice jumping off the side of a mountain had unhinged me. I leant into him and laughed long and hard. Then I heard it.

_My Mate_

I smiled. My dead heart froze over a little more.

"Course you are my mate, Edward. You and Alice are great mates!" I smiled back at him, and pushed back the thought that crashed into my chest and tore it open. He only thought of me as a mate, a friend, a pal. I wasn't ready for anything more than friendship at the moment, but I thought there was a pull. No, there was a pull: Edward had pulled me to him, over oceans, across continents to the safety that was him and his family, and he was the reason. I hoped that there was something mutual in the feelings I had for him, the unfurling of my heart. But he wanted friendship.

Edward looked confused. His face was scrunched up and he looked like he was going to say something but didn't know where to start. His mind was blank. I sighed and brushed some detritus off my jeans.

"Thank you for your friendship. I haven't been close to anyone in a long time. My hus…Mike and I….it was failing, had been from the start. I loved him as a friend, but even that was dwindling. We were very different. I was saving to leave him, to find myself again. I think in time what I have been given with this new … existence will be the best gift I could have ever been given. At the moment, everything is … tangled, I think my mind is confused; I'm seeing things where there are none, just the way that I can't even tell if someone is speaking or just thinking!" I laughed a hollow laugh.

"Your friendship is a rock for me. Thank you. Can we go back to the cabin now, please? I feel like I want to cry, but I know I can't." I looked over at him and jumped from the mountain.


	12. Chapter 12

**Firstly a HUGE apology to my readers for the time between updates. I went on holiday (cried in the Sistine Chapel, nearly went to Volterra!), and then my parents finally got a retirement home in the country, so I was helping them to move and then get settled in (I have now officially had aversion therapy to never be a hoarder). Since May life has been madness! **

**I'm back, I promise - Chapter 13 is with the lovely CindyWindy - although she may kill me when she reads it...She is my rock, my Goddess of the Sacred Red Pen and just amazing and lovely!  
**

**The fine print Ms Meyer owns all the stuff, including Edward, sadly. **

**Recap: Edward has just told Bella that she is his Mate. Bella is English, she thinks he means good friend...**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

** BPOV**

The trip from the mountain back to the cabin coalesced a strop of huge proportions. As I ran I took an internal inventory, cataloguing the exact nature of the anger. I was pissed; pissed that I was so pissed, pissed that I felt like a fool, and also pissed that I felt like I had even allowed myself to  
be pissed. I was also pissed that I didn't think I deserved to be pissed. There were so many layers of anger rolling around in my brain that I stopped thinking about the speed at which I was running and skidded to a halt far too late, which resulted in a whole new dent on the drivers side of Edward's Volvo.

I slowly removed my hand from the imprint I had made on the door, and was inspecting the fine quality of the reproduction my "handiwork" had produced, when Edward jogged up behind me. I cringed when I heard the anger and shock in his mind. I turned to look at him.

"Oops." I was in no mood to apologise. I turned back to the car and gave it a tiny punch to remove the handprint. I felt him wince mentally. In my overwhelmed, anger ridden state, his wince made it feel like he had been punched instead of his stupid shiny bloody Volvo.

_Yeah, that's how I felt ten minutes ago, like the wind had been knocked right out of my sails._ If he heard that I didn't give two hoots.

I turned back to him.

"Had to get rid of the handprint." I turned back towards the cabin and started towards it.

I didn't look back, and gave the cabin door a harder than necessary slam, causing the stained glass to shake within an inch of its life. Alice was talking quietly on the phone. I avoided what I knew was a worried gaze from her, and slipped into the bedroom where I knew my clothing was stored.

I closed the door with a hearty slam and sat down on the bed. I could hear the worry of Alice's thoughts, and the incredulity and confusion of Edward's mind.

I didn't want to hear any of it. My head was exploding. I held my hands to my ears and closed my eyes, willing my brain to take control and drown it all out.

My brain was in as much control as my hands were, and the din didn't abate. I found myself pushed up against the headboard, my knees drawn up to my chest, my head on my knees and my hands around my ears. I felt like I needed to be as small as possible, in the hope that the racket would cease.

My mind was racing. Desperately trying to shake the anger that the sensible part of me knew was ridiculous, I had to accept that I wasn't ready to actually deal with the reason I was angry - that was too complicated and altogether too raw for a lot of reasons. I mentally attempted to cool my anger and take stock of everything. I also hoped that having a bloody good think - something I hadn't had a chance to do for what seemed days - would help me drown out the minds of Alice and Edward.

I heard the door open slowly. I sniffed and smelt musk, sandalwood, coffee and warm sugar - Edward.

I didn't look up due to a mixture of shame, mental exhaustion and fear at seeing that beautiful face and knowing that he just thought of me as a friend. I just couldn't look at those earnest golden eyes.

"I'm trying to calm a tantrum here, please! Please just...just leave me alone." I was actually rather proud of myself for not screaming at him.

He moved closer to the bed. I felt something being placed on the edge.

"I find music can help to drown out the voices. There are quite a few useful playlists on this, and it's fully charged. I hope it helps. I'm going to town to put the Volvo in the shop and find Jasper. I'll be back in a few hours. Alice is staying. I've asked her to tone down her thoughts, but this is Alice... " Edward had a neutral tone to his voice, like someone talking to a scared animal. I guess that is what I was, really.

I didn't react or move. The door clicked closed and he was gone. I heard the car start a few moments later and pull away from the cabin.

I cracked open an eye and looked at the ipod and earbuds that had been left on the bed. I took a calming breath and willed myself to not break the delicate piece of technology as I gingerly picked it up.

Placing the buds in my ears, I held the ipod in my hands like it was made of paper thin china. I turned it on and dialled around it looking for the playlists. Edward hadn't been joking when he said there were a few playlists; there were playlists for years, activity, mood, and a number for "Drown  
out Sex" which I gasped and moved away from without investigating. This ipod belonged to someone with a lot of time on their hands. I scrolled through the whole list and found one entitled "Thinking" and started it playing.

It was beautiful. Light and dark pieces, all manner of genres: instrumental, orchestral, acoustic, folk, metal, even some trance was in there, spanning hundreds of years if you counted the early Gregorian chanting. The mind that had brought these pieces together was wistful, and full of longing, and also lonely. It suited my tumultuous mind perfectly. I settled back, closed my eyes and set my brain to work. By the third piece on the playlist I realised that Alice had become a low hum, like a TV in the next room. My head began to clear and I felt like it was just me in my head again.

Four hours later the iPod was still blasting in my ears. I felt calmer than I had since this whole sorry episode had begun. I turned off the iPod, and raised it to my face and sniffed it. Damn! Edward must keep it in his jacket pocket. It reeked of him - reek in a really good way. Just the smell of him made me feel safe. I remembered our conversation earlier - just a friend, remember? Who can blame him? I am a bit of a Black Widow. I laughed humourlessly at that thought. I was drawn towards Edward like a moth to a flame. Just his thumb on my hand caused sensations and feelings I hadn't felt since, well never. Intellectually I knew what this meant; emotionally I could still feel the guilt and grief of Mike. It felt disrespectful. It wasn't proper. I allowed myself to fall headfirst onto the bed. What was proper for a vampire? I growled at myself for allowing my mind to wander to what could obviously never be... friends, you silly cow? Remember? He said we are mates.

I placed the conundrum of Edward and all the myriad of confusing emotions that went along with that man safely into the back of my mind where they could fester, and went to the large bag that contained all the clothes Alice had bought me.

Carefully, so as not to destroy anything, I pulled out a clean set of clothes and a pair of lace up Keds. I opened the door into the main room of the cabin and saw Alice on the sofa watching some sort of loud TV show.

"I'm going to go have a shower, get changed. Umm sorry...for the meltdown earlier, had a bit of bad news..err, I'll be out in a tick." I was murmuring and stammering, and excused myself to go into the bathroom without making eye contact.

As I closed the door, I heard Alice call after me, "I'll be here and then we can have a nice chat, plus we have to plan, and ohhh..." I didn't hear the rest as I had closed the door to the bathroom, and she took the hint quite well and stopped talking. I was beginning to think that Alice, as well as having the gift of prescience, had the ability to make me over-share. I grimaced as I wasn't looking forward to that conversation at all, and busied myself with a good cleansing shower.

It only took me a few seconds to put the shower rail back up the second time I had pulled it down, and I was aware that I was learning how to moderate my strength. Each mistake was easier to correct and by the time I was dressed, I felt ready to go to on to what Alice had called advanced stuff – tying shoelaces.

I sat down on the sofa next to Alice and dropped the shoes down onto the floor and stared at them.

Alice turned off the TV and stared at the shoes as well.

"I think you are ready, you have felt things getting easier?" She looked at me, bright eyed and a large grin on her face.

"Yes, things are easier. I feel bad about the Volvo though. That wasn't really an accident - I was angry. Was he very upset?" I was gently coaxing the laces open so I could pop my left foot in the shoe.

Alice laughed, clapped her hands and sat back on the sofa. "My brother loves that car. He took what happened very well!"

I pushed my foot slowly and carefully into the shoe. "Well it's good to know that he understands the concept of love. I had him down for Mr Spock, then he started to send out mixed messages. I don't understand him at all." I pulled at the lace to tighten the shoes and ripped it in half. I sighed, and  
sat back, holding up the length of lace to Alice that I had ripped out.

Alice was up in a flash and into the other bedroom, returning with a small bag full of shoelaces, smiling as she handed them over. "Here you go, it will take a bit of learning, but it's a good lesson. As for Edward, I would say he definitely knows what love is. You have him discombobulated, more so than I have ever seen him. I was waiting for the Brood King to come out and wallow, but so far he's just confused."

I took the bag from Alice and set it down next to my feet. Toeing the shoe off my foot, I grabbed it and started to prise the lace out of the eyeholes.

"Well he doesn't seem to be confused anymore. We're just friends, he told me himself." I pulled the lace free and grabbed a new pair from the bag and started to lace the shoe up again, focussing on the job at hand.

Alice was silent. I had two rows done before I noticed she hadn't said a word, either in her mind or out loud. I looked over at her, and she looked like she was in shock.

"Alice?" I stopped my careful threading and waited.

"He. Said. What?" Alice looked a cross between dumbfounded and murderous.

Her face was a little scary at this point so I turned my attention back to the shoe operation.

"Yes, he told me after you went to call Jasper. Alice, it's confusing. There was something, I know there was, I could feel it, I could hear it in his thoughts. I'm not saying that I am able to or even feel I can reciprocate at the moment. It's all very sudden. I don't know how I am supposed to be feeling, but when he said that...it's like there's a hole in my chest, and now I feel guilty...guilty because I feel like this, and stupid because I felt something, when now I know I shouldn't. This ... this isn't normal, is it?" Yeah, that Alice had a gift to make me over-share. I'd not even admitted this to myself, not really, and here I was Ms. Vamp Verbal Diarrhoea. It did feel better saying it, but I was sorely tempted to cut my own tongue out and burn it.

Alice was staring at me like I had two heads. I think the over-share gift was at full speed because before I could help myself I was off again.

"He leant me his iPod before he went out, said it would help with dulling the voices, and it did, but the music was so full of longing, so soulful, I connected with him in a very deep way through it. It spoke to me, Alice. It really helped to calm me down, along with the relaxation exercises I , tell me I am not wrong, there was something there, wasn't there?" Why the hell was I doing this to myself?

I was just starting to pull the shoe onto my foot again when Alice spoke.

"He's your mate, Bella." I felt the shoe shred as my foot went through it.

I sighed. She confirmed it. "Yes, that's what he said. I thought there was something more there than friendship though. I suppose it's for the-"

Alice screamed, and the stained glass had had enough of all this supernatural goings on, and promptly ended its own existence by smashing, which jolted Alice out of her scream. I stopped wincing at this point and looked at her.

Her hand went to her forehead. "Bella, you are English, and far far too literal. My brother is an ass!" Alice jumped up, and was literally bouncing on the spot. I was watching her, the hole in my chest opening up a little wider at the pronouncement from Alice.

"Well, that's what mate means - it means a friend, well it does where I bloody well come from!" I didn't understand why my being friends with Edward would make Alice jump like she had gone two hours past really needing the loo.

"BellaBellaBella! You are a vampire now. For us mate is not simply a friend, it is the one. . Do you understand? Humans call it Soulmates, but they don't understand the term. Edward is your One, and you his...You are his mate..." Alice had the largest smile I had ever seen  
plastered all over her face. The shoe dropped from my hand and plonked onto the floor. I saw the irony in this, but had no time for it. My mind was racing.

"Why didn't he explain? How am I supposed to know all your lingo? Are you sure? Shitshitshit..." My mind was travelling at a million miles an hour. Joy, excitement, guilt, fear all mixed into a maelstrom.

"Alice, I'm scared."


	13. Chapter 13

Hello my friends, thank you for your continued support, and welcome to chapter 13!

I was so heartened by your kind words, you are all very kind - also a belated and heartfelt thank you to whoever nominated Zephyrus to TLS's poll - twice! I was surprised and honoured - thank you!

This chapter would not be here if it wasn't for CindyWindy and her patient correction of my complete inability to use commas, chai lattes, and frozen Vimto from the freezer.

Ms Meyer owns all the good stuff, I am just stroking the outside bits.

It's a cliche, but I would love to hear what you think of this chapter...

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**EPOV**

I'd been gone from the cabin for approximately 20 minutes when I was called an idiot by a member of my own family. I made a face at the phone and huffed.

"Edward Cullen! I mean it! You are an idiot, and you know I am not one to insult anyone lightly, let alone my favourite son." Esme sounded really angry. I'd been so nonplussed by Bella's behaviour before I left the cabin, especially the punching of the Volvo (I was mad about that; no one gets to hurt the Volvo), that I had done the only thing that seemed sensible. I'd rung my mother.

I recounted the conversation Bella and I had had on the side of the mountain, and all hell had broken loose. Esme had been raging at me for the last five miles. Granted I was doing 120mph, but still, that was a long time. She still hadn't gotten to the part where I found out what I had done wrong.

"Esme! Please tell me what I did wrong. Why would she be in such a blind rage at me? I'm going to have to total the car so the damage looks realistic; she really whacked it!" I tried not to sound desperate, but I was lost when it came to this. I didn't think I had said anything really bad.

I could hear Esme clicking her nails on the marble top of the kitchen.

"Edward. Did you take the time to explain what a mate is?" It was a simple question, but as soon as she said it I knew I had fucked up. Big. Time.

I ran my hand through my hair and looked guiltily at the phone on its holder.

"Umm, no." Without realising it, my voice had reverted in tone to that of a guilty schoolboy.

Click clack click went Esme's nails on the worktop.

"Edward. She is English. How exactly did you think she would take the term mate?" Esme sounded really pissed now.

"Oh crap. She thinks we are friends." I bashed my head on the steering wheel. I decided to go with the new look of the car as whole and dented. I sighed.

"Fix it, Son. She sounds so lovely, but she's fragile at the moment; don't break her any more." Esme never missed a good underlying message, and this one was definitely 'Don't fuck up again or else'. I was suitably chastised, and signed off after thanking her for the berating. I did deserve it, and I set to work trying to work out how I was going to get myself out of this particular mess.

It was a four hour trip to the nearest town. I had berated myself into a good wallowing mess by the time I dropped the car off at the garage. I managed to look sheepish (not a difficult look for me at that moment). It was nearly noon when I was trudging through the snow of this very sleepy town to meet Jasper in the diner car park.

My phone beeped. I took it out and saw it was a message from Alice.

Alice: U R AN IDIOT EAC!

I groaned and hit reply.

Edward: Look after her til I get back. Esme already told me I am an idiot. I will put it right. Meeting Jasper now.

I hit send and stuffed the phone back into my pocket. Just as I turned into the car park I saw Jasper pull to a stop in Emmett's jeep. I made a note to thank Emmett for the loan of the jeep for this. It probably wouldn't have been such a smart idea to drive through this town in Alice's little sports car, cute as it was.

I climbed into the passenger side and looked over at Jasper.

"Alice told me I had to tell you that you are an idiot. I have no idea why, but I am sure you have time enough to tell me why you are, and then I can call you an idiot myself all over again. Let's do it!" Jasper reversed from the parking spot as I hunched down and rolled my eyes. I started to explain everything that had happened - you had to be thorough with Jasper; he liked all the facts before making a decision on something.

I had received one final text before I had gotten changed to Jasper up to date:

Carlisle: Have you learned nothing from spending 90 or so years with an Englishman? Esme is right. Fix it, my boy.

I sighed heavily and carried on telling Jasper about the assault on the Volvo.

"She punched it! Right on the door! I had to smash in the rest of the front driver side 50 miles out of town so it looked like a normal crash. Not that I blame her I suppose. I am an idiot." I was looking out the window at the rapidly receding daylight. We were about an hour away from the cabin.

"Yes, you are, but you are just learning, and it's damn complicated." Jasper said as he looked over towards me. I knew he was looking at me as I could see the side of my face in his mind. I stopped looking so pouty when I saw how I looked.

"What's complicated?" I asked, as i counted the trees as they sped past.

"Women. Relationships. Love. Dang minefield is what it is. She'll get over this. Poor girl sounds like she has been through some hell already. Just gotta take it slow I reckon. Just expect to mess up, then you won't be surprised when you do .. I mean it's not as if you are a mind...ohh.. nevermind!" Jasper laughed as he said this. It didn't make me feel any better.

I held my head in my hands. "You don't know what it's like, she's in my head all the time, I have to be so careful what I think about!" I gripped my hair and yanked on it

"You gotta be fuckin' kidding me Edward? We've all lived with that shit for years! Welcome to the world of the Cullens!" Jasper laughed and punched the steering wheel gleefully.

I sank down lower in the bucket seat and threw myself into a good brooding session.

We'd arrived back at the cabin within the hour. Passports and driver's licence were shown to Bella, and handed to Alice for safekeeping. Jasper was on his guard around her but was relaxing. Bella had been reticent and unsure of herself. Alice and Jasper were draped all over each other on the sofa, and Bella was on her chair. I was pacing. I'd not felt brave or deserving enough to look Bella in the eye since we had returned. I wanted nothing more than to sit on the side of her chair and just be close to her.

Bella looked over at me and shifted over in the seat, giving me space on the armrest, her eyes catching mine. The meaning was clear, she'd heard and was inviting me over.

Jasper looked at Bella with an even gaze.

"You're very calm now. Edward said you were in some discomfort from the telepathy. What did you do to ease that?" He sat back on the sofa and his hand snaked onto Alice's leg and found her hand, caressing it gently.

"Oh it's still a racket, but I was perturbed before, and I think it just accentuated it. It's so invasive, and confusing, but if I am calm in myself it is easier. I was fighting a few things earlier. Edward loaned me his iPod - thank you for that, Edward. It helped to drown things out with some music. I also used an exercise I learnt from the research project I was a part of... they had me do this thing, and I did it so many times I remembered it, and I umm, kind of reversed it...it helped as well." Bella pushed forwards on the chair she was seated on and looked a little sheepish.

"An exercise? What exercise? What research project? Are you a scientist?" Jasper looked annoyed that he didn't know this information. Typical Jasper, he liked all the information before he made any decisions about a course of action.

"Ha! I'm not a scientist - as far from it as you can get! I studied the classics, and Greek and Roman history - that's my thing, but this research project. I'll try and remember everything.." Bella smiled and looked over at me. "Edward just let slip that you like to know all the details before you proceed with anything. I got the impression from his head that you are a tactical man. "

Jasper laughed and looked over at me. "My brother has known me for a long time, and I daresay he isn't wrong. I also daresay that Edward hates having information picked out of his brain, but turnabout is fair play, ma'am, Keep at it, my family have dealt with it for a long time. Anyhow, yes please, this research project...please, as much information as you can remember."

Bella closed her eyes, and sat back in her chair, her small arms resting on it.

_You will see what I say. Help me by mentioning what I don't see or say, please._ Her voice in my mind sounded so trusting. There was an intimate difference between hearing the random thought of an individual and them actually directing a thought to you. My family did this a lot, but I had to concede that coming from Bella it was a caress that touched me in places that had never been awakened before.

_TMI, mister!_ Ahh crap! I shifted in my seat a little, "Yes Bella, I will make sure you don't miss anything

Jasper and Alice shared a look.

"I told you it was unnerving, didn't I? They are always doing it!" Alice said with a huff.

Jasper only smiled.

I heard Bella begin to speak about the research project, but I allowed that to become the secondary feed into my brain, as the information streaming into my mind was far more useful: images, sounds and thoughts from Bella about this research project. I closed my eyes and stepped into the information stream.

_I found the ad in a newspaper.  
_  
I saw the advert appear in Bella's mind:

__** Research Project**  
** The Regali Institute**

** Volunteers Needed**  
** No Experience Necessary**  
** Psychological Testing**  
** Generous Expenses Paid** _  
_

_There was a phone number to ring, so I rang it, and was given a time and place to go to. I went along, filled out some forms, and was told that for each session I would be paid £3000. Well I was in for that!  
_  
Bella shifted in her seat.

_They told me it would be at least three sessions, each lasting a day, but if I was found to be well suited to the trial it could last a few more days. The project was to remain secret, and I was not to tell anyone what I was doing. For £3000 a day I was very happy not to be telling anyone anything! The money was perfect for what I needed it for. I wanted to leave Mike. I needed some money for a rental deposit on a flat, and rents are high in London. I was even contemplating leaving London altogether and making a start somewhere else._

I pulled in an unneeded breath at the images Bella was showing me. These were starkly different from what she was telling Jasper and Alice in verbal form. I saw arguments and crying, and felt lonelinessand saw that Bella felt trapped in her marriage. These images were only for me; she was showing me what had happened in her relationship. It seemed that there had only been friendship in that marriage almost right from the start. This frustrated and angered Mike, and left Bella with feelings of guilt.

There was a pause. I cracked open an eye to see Bella looking at me. My heart crashed as I understood why she had been so upset at the mate confusion.

_We'll speak of this later. I am so sorry I am such an idiot._ I sent that thought off to my Bella with such conviction that I saw her shiver.

Jasper cleared his throat, and looked pointedly at Bella. She looked suitably embarrassed and continued.

"Apologies Jasper, now where was I?" Bella relaxed back into the chair again and started speaking. I relaxed back into the comfortable embrace of her thoughts.

_The research was done in a posh place on Harley Street. There were about 50 of us in a big lecture room. We were told about the project; they were experimenting with ESP in all its facets. We would be tested to see if we had any ability, and if we showed any aptitude to the testing we would be kept on in the testing._

We had to give a blood and hair sample as well, which I thought was weird, but they told us it was so they could get a good sample of DNA, so if we showed any aptitude they could see if there was any way to track aptitude via genetic makeup.

Then we went and sat in a room and were given headphones. The lights were darkened, and we were told to listen to this guy with the most amazing voice and accent tell us how to relax and "open our mind". It was almost hypnotic...that was the exercise I reversed to calm my mind. After we had listened to the exercise, we were given pads and pencils and told to draw whatever came into our heads. After an hour of that we were asked to find a location on the map - our own choosing, just wherever came into our head.

_Then it was the end of the session, and we were asked to choose a door to go through to leave. I must have chosen rightly, as I got an envelope with a cheque for £3000 and a time to come back the next week._

_I went back ten times in total .. each time I would be given the headphones, and told to draw whatever came into my head, sometimes for two hours, sometimes longer. The number of people doing the testing went down every week. There were just three of us the last couple of weeks._

The movable feast of images ended and I opened my eyes and looked at Bella, who was looking between Jasper and I. Jasper was deep in thought. We locked eyes, and I didn't need to be a mind reader to know what my brother had worked out. I had worked out the same, Alice too.

Everything whirled into place in my mind. I was up and next to Bella's chair before I realised I had done it. I took her hand. I wanted Jasper to be sure before he told her, and I wanted her away and more sure of herself before what both Jasper and I knew appeared to be true came to light for her.

"Bella, that was very useful, thank you. You must be thirsty, let's go and huntI need to talk to you. I think we have a few things to discuss. Jasper wants to work on a few hunches I think. Please?" I entreated her with my eyes to come.

_At the very least I need to apologise to you. I also need to explain myself far better._ I was not above begging at this point, but decided that I just needed to spirit my mate away so I could at least try and make her feel more comfortable around me.

Bella squeezed my hand and stood up.

"We'll see you guys later. Talk to Carlisle." I tried to convey the import of contacting Carlisle through my eyes to Jasper. He nodded and planted a kiss on Alice's cheek.

"Good hunting you two Come on Alice, I feel the need to be online." Jasper waved us off and we were out the door and heading into the now twilight.

My phone beeped just before I went out of signal range, but just as we passed the range of my mind reading range for the cabin; what Bella's range was I didn't know, but I doubted it was as far as mine - yet. Bella was chasing a herd of elk further up the ridge and I could hear her giggling as she ran. I looked at the message:

Alice: Not a word to her about the project, we wait til we are home, talking to Carlisle now to make triple sure.

I replied with a simple 'K', then after deleting the message ran to catch up to Bella.

Bella was sat waiting for me on a small outcropping, her legs dangling over the edge of the rock. She was holding her arm out, watching the snowflakes collect on her arm. I sat down next to her and observed as she shook her arm and watched the snow flutter away. She looked over at me. Snow was falling onto her hair, framing it. She was slight, but the change to one of my kind had left her toned. I looked at her unabashedly, seeing her what seemed for the first time when she wasn't incredibly stressed.

"I am still stressed you know, just...not as much as I was." Her words came easily, and I felt humbled that she wasn't shouting blue murder at me. A lesser person would have, and rightly so.

My practical side took over. "Did you hunt yet?"

Bella shook her head. "Not yet, I was waiting for you. I do have table manners you know!"

Leaping from the rock Bella pulled at my arm taking me down with her leap. We landed easily. I sniffed the air, searching for quarry. "Always keep the newborn well fed. Let's feed and then we need to talk. Is that OK?"

Bella nodded and then pulled me towards the north west. I was sniffing, but I didn't smell anything. I cocked my head to look at her. She was very graceful at a run; it was breathtaking to watch.

_I don't smell prey, why this way_? I asked silently.

Bella stared back at me, then shrugged before leaping over a small boulder. _Dunno, got a pull in this direction, not a strong one, not like the pull towards you. I thought it might be dinner, only one way to find out?_


End file.
